I have found that modern feminism is doing more harm to the movement than anything else. Just as you stated, feminism is nearly destroying identity and individualism as it nearly preaches that to be a woman you need to be x, y, z and you HAVE to be breaking some sort of gender role or whatever. The flip side of that coin is I never see women talk to women about how their gender is treated or represented in nerd culture/gaming culture. All we see and talk about is how males treat the subject, and women, and I feel it stays there and goes no further. Sure, the majority of female character design in games is obnoxious, boring, and over the top but if it is literally so terrible then why are there so many girls and women who are at times clamoring to be the first one to cosplay that particular character the second a picture shows up for the first time? Why do we ignore female cosplayers who love to cosplay these 3/4 naked characters but only preach to the men who (mostly) play them in the game?
When I mention stuff like this on other sites, such as io9, I am told that "women can be misogynist too" or "women can be part of the problem as well" but the problem, again, is that this is always treated as a "Holy shit, men are terrible, huh?" kind of thing. Just as with the modern union movement and the modern civil rights movement they can potentially do more harm to their cause then those trying to oppress them.
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