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There isn't a whole lot I can say about Saints Row: The Third that Jeff didn't previously capture in rather poetic form when he first saw the game prior to E3. You already know about the game's weaponized dildos, human-exploding Hulk-hands, inexplicable airstrike capabilities, and all out assault on common decency. I suppose I could just reiterate that the game is fucking crazy. It totally is.

That said, THQ did have a bit more to show of the game during its holiday showcase in New York City, today. In addition to the apocalyptically silly sandbox gameplay (which you can get a perfect taste of in this trailer right here), and the first level of the game (which Jeff saw previously), I got a quick look at the game's second mission, and the game's primary antagonist.

If you've been following along with Saints Row: The Third coverage thus far, you're aware of the basic story outline. The Saints (who you may recall are the gang of note in this series) are now hot shit in Stilwater, having completely taken over the city's criminal underworld and amassing a reputation as something like a cross between Robin Hood and his Merry Men and the Kardashians. They spend as much time signing autographs and marketing cheap crap based on their brand and likenesses as they do actually committing crimes--that is, until a new rival gang, known ominously as The Syndicate, makes a bid for a hostile takeover.

The Saints run afoul of the Syndicate after a failed assault on a bank owned by the shadowy cabal, and subsequent capture by the newly bought-off police force. Presented with the gang's leader--an effete yet ruthless Belgian (who instantly reminded me of Karl Lagerfeld)--the Saints are given an ultimatum: turn over 66% of their ill-gotten profits (after taxes, of course) to the Syndicate, or die. Perhaps if you're a fan of this series, you already know how Johnny Gat and crew handle situations like this. Let's just say they don't give them the money.

What ensues is a wild shootout on a goddamned airplane. Gunfire on an airborne plane is usually kind of a bad idea, but Volition's modus operandi for this series has typically been to make really dangerous, awful decision-making fun. So you're on a plane, and you're killing scads and scads of Syndicate goons, sometimes by shooting them, sometimes by using them has human shields, sometimes by giving them flying clotheslines for no other reason than because it looks awesome.

Eventually you have to ditch the plane while Johnny makes his way to the cockpit. This does not go according to plan, as you and series lady friend Shaundi go flying out the back amid a hailstorm of flaming crates and airborne SUVs. You also find yourself trying to dodge parachute-sporting Syndicate members aiming to gun you down as you fly through the frigging air. Somewhere in there, you have to break to try and catch a free-falling Shandi, but as if this whole sequence weren't bonkers enough, then the plane decides to turn around and try to ram you out of the air. So, of course, you do the logical thing: drop Shandi back into a free-fall, shoot out the window of the cockpit, fly through the plane punching and shooting a few more bad guys along the way, then fly right back out, while snatching another parachute in the process.

So, to recap: in between bouts of shooting armed bad guys in the middle of a thousands-of-feet free-fall, you have to break into a moving airplane, kill more people, get out of that airplane again, and somewhere in there, rescue a girl. It's quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever seen--and I mean that wholeheartedly as a compliment.

Apart from the 20-plus missions and various side ventures throughout the game, sandboxy hailstorms of death and chaos are probably the biggest draw of Saints Row: The Third. Jeff talked a good bit about some of the highlight-worthy methods for terrorizing the local populace previously, but one recent item that's been getting some significant attention is Professor Genki's Man-a-pult (from here on out referenced as "the man-canon," because that's just easier to type). This demented looking car features a fiendishly grinning cat on the front grill that actually sucks up random pedestrians and enemies, and immediately inserts them into an up-top cannon that can be used to both attack foes or just send bodies flying for no particularly good reason. Those launched skyward tend to hit with a resounding splat, making this the perfect way to explain to your child why a career in the circus is probably not a great idea.

The man-cannon and related wares--including a full man-cat costume, octopus gun, and snazzy stunt suit--are all part of a pre-order bonus for the game. I asked if that bonus was a retailer exclusive, and it sounds like it isn't. Pre-ordering anywhere should allow you access to terrifying cat heads and human-propelling weaponry.

You can check out a full trailer for the whole Professor Genki pack below. And you really should. It's just ever so stupid. And great. Stupidly great.

If you haven't read our previous coverage of Sissy's Magical Ponycorn Adventure, the excruciatingly cute browser game dreamed up by Untold Entertainment developer Ryan Henson Creighton and his five-year-old daughter/creative director Cassie, then this story's headline probably makes about as much sense to you as the ramblings of a man having a massive stroke. Feel free to read up before continuing on with this story.

Now that you have presumably spent the last 10 or 15 minutes cooing and squealing like a toddler in a Care Bear factory (an actual Care Bear factory, not the sweatshop where Care Bears are forced to manufacture rainbows and joy and greeting cards under the oppressive whip of their uncaring overlords at American Greetings), perhaps the news that Sissy's Magical Ponycorn Adventure is now available to iPad owners everywhere is of some interest to you.

Retailing for $2.99, the game features all the same content as the browser version, minus any ads. While some may balk at the notion of paying a few dollars for an admittedly very short game they once played for free, I hereby invite you to look at this girl's face. Are you going to look at that face and tell her no, you won't buy her previously free-to-play game because it was previously free-to-play? Are you going to tell her that Ponycorns actually aren't that awesome and that $2.99 is too steep to have them on your iPad? If so, you're far stronger of will than I. And also a monster. A MONSTER.

If you're interested in contributing in other ways to the cause (funds previously donated to the game go directly to Cassie's education fund--over $3,000 has been raised thus far), there is also a gang of Ponycorn-related merchandise up on Untold's website, including some rather pricey plush toys, and a couple of pretty great t-shirts. Seriously thinking of grabbing that "I Am An Evil Lemon!" shirt, myself.

No doubt the announcement of Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy late last week has kept you up many a night since, pondering everything from which of your favorite Final Fantasy characters will find their way into this theatrically rhythmic piece of insanity, to where the line between portmanteau and complete nonsense word must ultimately be drawn.

While Square Enix will likely be of little help on the latter matter, the former has been cleared up a bit via some new details released this morning (and translated/posted by Andriasang).

Evidently, Theatrhythm will feature characters from all 13 main entries in the Final Fantasy series. Before you scream something at your monitor about how this is butchering the Final Fantasy canon, take a deep, calming breath, as Squeenix has you covered. Each cast will have its own set of three stages, which you can tackle via a party of four characters of your choosing. Those different stage sets will each have their own differing gameplay mechanics as well, though exactly how they're different has not yet been explained.

You can see the new Chibi art style in the embedded screenshots. Though exact character lists have not yet been announced, major characters like Cloud, Lightning, and whoever the hell it is that people cared about in Final Fantasy XI will likely be included.

The exact nature of the rhythm-based gameplay is still a bit of a mystery, though Square Enix has noted that a number of major songs from the numbered entries in the franchise will be included in the game, such as:

• "Clash on the Big Bridge" (Final Fantasy V)
• "One Winged Angel" (Final Fantasy VII)
• "At Zanarkand" (Final Fantasy X)
• "The Sunleth Waterscape" (Final Fantasy XIII).
• The Main Final Fantasy Theme

Lastly, we have the game's storyline, which, as translated by Andriasang, is absurd.

Apparently, the space between the gods Chaos and Cosmos is known as "Rhythm." "Rhythm" gives birth to the crystal which controls music, and fills the world with sound. However, the forces of chaos have disrupted the peace, and the crystal has begin to lose its shine. To restore the crystal's shine, the music wave "Rizpo" must be increased. And so, the warriors, guided by the crystal, begin their journey of music.

That sounds totally reasonable, right?

As great as a Final Fantasy spin on an Electric Light Orchestra album sounds, we'll reserve any and all judgment until we've seen some actual gameplay.

We've previously covered the utterly baffling issue between Microsoft and Portuguese board game maker Rui Alípio Monteiro over the trademark for Trenched, Double Fine's World War I mech combat tower defense game currently available in the Americas, but as yet unreleased across the pond in Europe.

In short: Monteiro owns the European rights to the name "Trench" and all relevant derivations thereof in several European territories. Evidently, someone at Microsoft didn't bother to check on that before attempting to release the game in Europe, resulting in a "whoopises!" situation that has thus far prevented European players from downloading the critically acclaimed title.

Up to this point, we've heard little from Monteiro on the matter, but today he finally broke his silence, releasing a lengthy statement to Eurogamer that signaled his intent to fight Microsoft on the matter, and also to release his own game under the Trench moniker somewhere down the road.

The original statement is rather lengthy and full of flowery descriptions of Monteiro's board game in question, but here are a few of the highlight paragraphs.

Always bearing the international market in mind, and after legal advice, Rui Alípio Monteiro registered the brand both in Portugal and internationally. In September 2009, he was granted the Trademark Registration Certificate for Trench nº 007508501 in the European Union. On 18th June 2010 he applied for the Trademark Registration of Trench in the USA, whose registration was granted on the 15th March 2011 under the Register nº 85066103.

He also owns the international Certificates regarding the visual aspect of the game and components. Although the original idea was to produce a board game, he has also registered the trademark for electronic Games, since part of Rui Alípio Monteiro's global project is to turn Trench into an appealing electronic game, already in the development phase.

A couple of interesting things to point out in those statements. One, he states that he applied for a US trademark in June of 2010, and was granted the trademark in March of this year. How this trademark failed to interfere with Trenched's US release is unclear, though it's possible that the US trademark did not include derivative titles.

On the subject of a Trench video game, Monteiro's statement goes on to state that his game has a developer and even a publisher for Spanish and Portuguese distribution.

In regards to Microsoft and Trenched, the statement finally reiterates Monteiro's plan to fight the publisher on any attempts to infringe upon his trademark.

"This company, until the present date, has never contacted nor has any relation with Rui Alípio Monteiro. 'Criações a Solo' and Rui Alípio Monteiro, taking into account all investment already made, cannot do anything else but to obviously defend all their author's copyright and intellectual property against any infringements, as any designer would, and perpetuate their creation with the main goal of putting Trench in the international Hall of Fame of both classic electronic and board games."

Once again, this could all probably just end if Microsoft and Double Fine joined forces to re-brand Trenched in Europe. Movies do it all the time! Want to know what Basic Instinct was called in Japan? Smirk of Ice! What does that even mean? I don't know, but it still made money! And when Trenched is inevitably renamed to Super Mech Fighting Television Battlefield 120%, I'm sure it will make plenty of money then, too.

Until then, European players will just have to keep on waiting as they have been. Isn't trademark and copyright law fun?

We of the gaming press have raved endlessly about the behind-closed-doors demo of BioShock Infinite at this year's E3. So blown away were we, that the decision to give it our Game of the Show award required little ancillary discussion. It was almost kind of a foregone conclusion.

Now, courtesy of GameTrailers TV the full 14-minute demo is available to watch online. A few notes up front: the version of the demo we saw at E3 didn't feature Geoff Keighley popping in at various intervals to introduce segments, nor did Ken Levine appear to give any background on the things that were occurring in the demo. In those regards, you may actually be getting the better end of the stick, depending on your personal fondness for both Keighley and Levine's divine speaking voices.

Also, and this might just be the result of my own tattered memory, but I do seem to recall that the demo at E3 was just a tad longer. It feels like a few segments in this demo are pushed through a bit more quickly than in the demo I sat in on. I seem to recall a few sections where the developer playing through it lingered a bit more in certain areas, especially where dialogue was more heavily featured. Or perhaps that's just my mind playing a few tricks on me. I'm perfectly willing to accept either answer.

Regardless, this version of the demo is no less impressive than what we saw at the show, and it's pretty awesome that everyone now has the chance to see what got the typically jaded journalistic lot to ooh and ah with such unguarded excitement. I actually envy you, seeing it for the first time. It's still good the second, third, and even fourth time around, but that first viewing... it's pretty special. Enjoy.

Among console makers, Sony is the company seemingly most invested in the still fledgling 3D TV market, with multiple PlayStation 3 titles scheduled to take advantage of the technology in the future. Granted, a great deal of that might have to do with the fact that Sony makes 3D TVs, but hey, support is support, right?

As it turns out, Sony may have some 3D-enabled console competition in its near future. Sort of.

Speaking to the Mercury News, Nintendo president Satoru Iwata let it be known that the Wii U will also include support for those with fancy 3D televisions, albeit via least ringing endorsement you've ever heard from an executive talking about a feature contained within a new piece of console technology.

If you are going to connect Wii U with a home TV capable of displaying 3-D images, technologically, yes, it is going to be possible, but that's not the area we are focusing on.

When it comes to 3-D, we already have the 3DS, and each owner of the Nintendo 3DS is capable of viewing 3-D images. However, when it comes to the home console, it depends upon the availability of 3-D TV sets at home, which, unfortunately, is not expanding enough. And rather than pouring a lot of energy into that kind of area, with the Wii U we'd like to focus more on each Wii U owner being able to have an equal opportunity to enjoy it.

Well then, uh... get hyped? I guess?

Nintendo's stance on the situation does make some sense given the currently meager level of market penetration 3D TVs have in the average home. Adding in support almost sounds like a purely precautionary measure, just in case this 3D TV thing suddenly blows up big. And if it doesn't? Well, we can just pretend we never even had this little conversation, and go on about our 2D business as we always have, no worse for the wear.

A year after announcing the acquisition of Dark Messiah of Might & Magic and Arx Fatalis developer Arkane Studios, Bethesda has finally revealed the first project the studio will be making under its publishing banner.

Today, Game Informer unveiled the new title, Dishonored, as its upcoming August cover story. Dishonored is a first-person stealth action title, featuring... well, you know what? Let's just go with GI's description of the action.

Dishonored is the antithesis of a edge-of-your-seat roller-coaster ride. It's a game about assassination where you don't have to kill anyone. It's a game about infiltration where you can set up traps and slaughter the entire garrison of an aristocrat's mansion rather than sneak in. It's a game about brutal violence where you can slip in and out of a fortified barracks with nobody ever knowing you were there. It's a game about morality and player choice where the world you create is based on your actions, not navigating conversation trees.

Well then. That sounds rather awesome, doesn't it? Granted, GI is out to sell a magazine or two, but hey, it's an effective description! I can't help but be intrigued.

Even more exciting is the collection of talent surrounding the title. Harvey Smith, who was one of the main creative forces behind Deus Ex, Deus Ex: Invisible War, and the original System Shock, is on board as co-creative director alongside Arkane's studio head, Raf Colantonio. Additionally, Viktor Antonov, the artist who designed the imposing world of City 17 in Half-Life 2, will be lending his artistic talents to Dishonored's game world.

Dishonored will likely be at this year's QuakeCon, but if you aren't planning on making it out to Texas this year, GI's forthcoming August issue will just have to suffice for the time being.

Ever since Harmonix made it known that the Rock Band franchise was taking 2011 off (outside of the usual DLC pipeline), many have speculated as to what the newly independent studio might be focusing its developmental efforts on instead. Dance Central 2 is obviously one of those in-development projects, but word has swirled for a while now that Harmonix had some other, original ideas kicking around.

One of those appears to be Vidrhythm, a name recently trademarked by the studio with an "intent to use" filing. What is Vidrhythm? I have no idea, but it's a thing that exists, according to Harmonix Communications Director and noted rage enthusiast John Drake, who confirmed to us that this is most definitely a project currently under development, and that "it will be awesome." So, hey, you heard it here first.

Now feel free to spend the next several hours constructing what the combination of Vid (one can presume it being short for "video") and rhythm both signify. I'm personally hoping for something in the vein of Make My Video. Bring back Marky Mark!

There are, at last count, somewhere in the neighborhood of a quarter million words in the English language, and that doesn't even count all the stuff currently contained within the hallowed pages of Urban Dictionary. And yet, this does not stop Japanese developers from actively going out of their way to dig into the annals of obscure language, and even recombine words in inexplicable fashion, as if words were some malleable form, just waiting to be reshaped by the right set of hands. And thus, we find ourselves with games like Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together, Ar tonelico Qoga: Knell of Ar Ciel, and now, Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy.

What in the Sam Hell is a Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy, you ask? Totally reasonable question. According to the announcement of the game featured in Japan's weekly magazine Jump (thankfully translated by Andriasang), it is a "theater rhythm" game. What in the Sam Hell does that mean? I. Don't. Know.

What Andriasang was able to ascertain from the info-lite announcement story is that the game will feature battles similar to the side-view battles in older Final Fantasy games, and that multiple popular characters from the series, including Cloud and Lightning, will make appearances--albeit in a decidedly cuter, "Chibi"-inspired form. Other stories covering the announcement have made note of the gameplay resembling something like Patapon, with rhythmic tapping tying into the game's battle system.

Whatever the heck it is, we will supposedly learn more about Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy when more info pops up in next week's Famitsu. In the meantime, I'll just go back to developing my Final Fantasy-themed cooking simulator, Final Fantasy Epicuriosity: Can This Sandwich Be a Dream?

Team Bondi developed one of the year's biggest games in the acclaimed detective adventure L.A. Noire. Over the course of the years-long process to bring that game to fruition, the studio appears to have jilted more than its share of ex-employees along the way. And now they're speaking out en masse.

It all started when somewhere around 100 former developers suddenly found themselves uncredited for their work in the game and launched a website to protest this fact. It continued when IGN published a story from freelance writer Andrew McMillen, who took Team Bondi to task for reportedly troubling work conditions at the studio over the course of the game's seven-year development cycle, providing quotes from both anonymous former employees of the company, and even oft-complained-about studio head Brendan McNamara. McNamara's quotes (which halfway confirmed many of the complaints lodged against the company, and simultaneously brushed them aside as simple facts of being a developer in this business) seemed to tell all the story there was to tell at the time, but evidently, McMillen was far from done.

In a story published yesterday on GamesIndustry.biz (you'll need a registered account on the site to read the whole thing), McMillen went to town on Team Bondi, bringing to light a lengthy series of internal emails collected by former employees of the studio which depict McNamara and the management at Team Bondi as complicit in grinding former studio workers into the ground with insane hours and minimal compensation.

Without just reprinting the entire series of emails McMillen posted in his story (you should read the entire thing, as it's fascinating stuff), the core issues pertain to McNamara and the studio's upper management, who allegedly dangled L.A. Noire's completion date as a perpetual carrot on a stick in order to secure lengthy, unpaid overtime hours from the rest of the company's staff. Multiple emails from as far back as 2008 show studio management proclaiming the game's completion as projected within a six month window of the email's send date. In nearly all instances, these emails were used as justification for increasing work hours at the studio, many of which allegedly were unpaid crunch hours. Sources then go on to list everything from misrepresented announcement dates (one email suggests impending media coverage a whole 14 months prior to the game's official unveiling in Game Informer last year), to non-existent raises and cost-of-living increases, despite hefty amounts of overtime work by employees across various departments.

The really bizarre thing about this whole story is how closely it echoes the now infamous Rockstar Spouse letter, which took the publisher to task for the alarmingly brutal hours it purportedly required Rockstar San Diego employees to work while finishing up Red Dead Redemption. That particular letter is something that one source at Team Bondi even mentioned as signaling something of an alarm bell for those working at the company. However, according to that source, studio management treated the letter as more an object of derision and mockery, rather than any sort of wake-up call to how their own employees might be feeling.

All these former employees bad-mouthing the company certainly seems like it might hit a little too close to home for Rockstar, though reportedly ties between the publisher and developer were strained long before any of this news hit. Though nothing has been said publicly by either company (and, again, these sources are anonymous, and thus cannot be directly corroborated), one source seems fairly sure that Rockstar's relationship with Team Bondi is merely a one-and-done.

"It's pretty well reported now that the working conditions were bad. What hasn't been discussed yet (from what I've seen) is the relationship between Team Bondi and Rockstar. I've heard a lot about Rockstar's disdain for Team Bondi, and it has been made quite clear that they will not publish Team Bondi's next game. Team Bondi are trying to find another publisher for their next title, but the relationship with Rockstar has been badly damaged - Brendan treats L.A. Noire like a success due to his vision but I think Rockstar are the ones who saved the project. They continued to sink money into LA Noire, and their marketing was fantastic. Without their continued support, Team Bondi would have gone under several years ago."

"Rockstar also made a huge contribution to the development; their producers were increasingly influential over the last two years of the game's development, and overruled many of the insane decisions made by Team Bondi management. At a lower level, Rockstar also pitched in with programmers, animators, artists, QA, etc. Part of the conflict between Team Bondi and Rockstar was due to Rockstar's frustration with Team Bondi's direction, and eventually Team Bondi's management in turn resented Rockstar for taking lots of creative control. It's also worth pointing out that Rockstar used to be very keen on making Team Bondi something like 'Rockstar Sydney' - the more they worked with Team Bondi management, the more they came to understand that this was a terrible idea."

This is, unfortunately, one of those ugly situations that we will likely never know the entire truth of. It seems unlikely that McNamara will be giving any more interviews following this latest volley of criticism from former employees of his studio, and while the veracity of their claims seems legit, given the sheer number of different sources (and the at least halfway confirmation of several of the claims by McNamara), it seems even more unlikely that any of these developers will step forward and give their names, either out of fear of lawsuit or blacklisting within the industry.

While L.A. Noire is unquestionably a major critical success, and at least a moderate commercial success, we are sadly now left to ponder at precisely what cost that success came at.