Super Fighting Brobot [SSC#14]

Okay, so get this! You're the most bumpin' lady around right? Flashy dress, stiletto heels and a voice built for gospel music that your mom would like to cash in on. Your enemy it obviously bad music like... Brokencyde or Jimmy Ray or something. But let's take a page from Revolution X. There are people who are obviously responsible for breaking up Destiny's Child and it's got to be some sort of post apocalyptic authority from 1994. (Because that was a scary time.) But let's give the game choices, so you can choose to get the band back together. or.... let's say you don't and down the road you have to fight Kelly Rowland, because even though she's not a better singer than you she's OBVIOUSLY a better actor. What do you do? Reunite? Turn the other cheek? Renegade option beat her over the head with your Emmy and she falls out the window? Save System? Put a Ring on it. You could even Customize your Jay-Z to help support you in battle (for beginners, there's even an auto-tune assist.)

We're toying with a lot of other concepts, but this is the real meat of the game. What? You just wanted it to be a dance game? But everyone does those, it won't sell! Ask Ubisoft. They screwed up pretty bad with the Michael Jackson Experience... What? You're pulling out? We put so much money into this!

So apparently after Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon I've be hurting pretty hard to play some N64 games. But back and forth between Goemon's great adventure and Winback didn't suffice. (although I'm an hour more ahead than I've ever been in Winback.) But this coming excitement for a new Mega Man Legends 3 has made me realize that I've never played a Legends game before. SO WHAT WOULD I POSSIBLY DO ABOUT THAT?


Obviously this is the part where I pop Megaman 64 into the N64 because it's no different than the Playstation version and I'm in more of an N64 mood anyway. Instantly I can tell where Lost Planet gets it's controls from, and I'm surprised those controls have gotten worse with age. *ZING* But it will suffice, because bad controllers are an amazing thing to overcome and not pussy over.

Right off the bat though, I am really digging this game. (consider that sentence to be a pun) It's interesting to see so many different versions of this one character. But it's also weird that most other versions of this one character get countless sequels while Legends is still working on it's 3 . But where could we give credit to that? Did it just not sell? This games characters (with their quirks) and story (with it's story, all cute like one of them cartoon movies) really compel a sort of fascination with where this game could go. I'm almost surprised that it didn't turn out to be a show to continue the adventures of all this cast. Really, a Legends OVA could be pretty cool.

So you happen to crash land on an island the same time a family of pirates are trying to get this awesome treasure and you take it upon yourself to stop them at every turn. OH MEGA MAN! Already I'm happy there's an upgrade system, but would be more welcome if I could just level up instead. Probably because a lot of the upgrading and item buying feels so 'out of the way.' that at most times you just forget to upgrade all together. I'm actually stuck at a part right now where ever time I play it I can never remember that I should have bought something at the store, but when I finally do remember it's far too late and there's actually no way to get out of this area because the ELEVATOR IS BUSTED. So you wander around in a state of “Oh fuck! I shouldn't have wasted that one item I have, I should have bought a backup! Hell I SHOULD have upgraded this! How COME ENEMIES DON'T DROP SOMETHING TO REPLENISH THIS! I COULD JUST DIE.. BUT I KILLED EVERYTHING, SO NOW I'M JUST WANDERING AIMLESSLY.”

So then I reset, and put it off for another day where I probably forget to do what it is exactly I need to do.

 I'm a blue bomber, and this is kind of a fun game.
 I'm a blue bomber, and this is kind of a fun game.

Because the control is what it is. This makes fighting bosses generally stupid. Maybe it could just be my lack of strafing. Maybe because Tank controls shouldn't be built for humans. I know it's a joke because Mega Man is a robot, therefore he could probably apply for a tank license if he really wanted to. I mean you have to get a license for everything else in this game! What's a small island doing with a major TV station like that anyway? Reporting on the news as pretty much everyone is well aware that the only town on the island is being attacked. PISH POSH.

Little things to complain about aside, this is actually a really neat game. As one who's played a lot of different Mega Man games, I really like the different-take-on-the-formula that Legends is showing me. It's a series that can be elaborated on with out the use of 6 to 8 different robot masters, and jumping puzzle after jumping puzzle. At least with my initial impression of the series with this game, I actually look forward to what happens next.

At the very least, get myself excited for when it comes out on the 3DS (hopefully with a less ridiculous control scheme.)



The chat that is the Brain Child of your favourite TL;DL Episodes once came up with an interesting topic that I found interesting. (much like how interesting that terrible sentence is.) What are your favourite video game couples?.. and EVEN THOUGH joke answers are the best, I was very serious when I said Leon Shitkickin' Kennedy and Ada Wong. She's the tease that always fucks Leon, but it's ok because he always gets her from behind, in the end, [bum joke].

Then truth be told, I couldn't much think of any other game couple out there worth mentioning? Link And Zelda? Ico kid and the Extremely White Princess? Squall and Zell? (the odd couple for sure. /sassy) But it's an interesting topic none the less, and I'd very much like to hear the general consensus on who they think a great Gaming couple is, back it up why if you can as well.

It also was originally going to start out as a drawing challenge, because the last one went so well. But then we remembered that no hentai rule and half the fun was taken out of it. Oh well, back to the Drawing board.

But how about last weekend hey? Dirty pictures are finally being taken off the GB database, (Because Anime Vice ruined it for everyone /jkjk) Whiskey Media dies in a hellfire in the Amazon rainforest. The Playstation Network Contracts an STD that leaks out personal information. What a week to remember that your existence is a little bit flawed. The upside is, Whiskey Media handled the problem very well and Dave has a soothing voice.

Yeah, the PSN stuff is pretty fucked up and Sony is in a very bad place right now. But there's not much of my own opinion I can give, because there's nothing I can really do anyway. I don't have a credit card in that data, and now they know my name? And possibly where I live? Deep in a crowd of millions of other information that is probably juicier than my own. I'm sorry for your loss, PSN. But now I guess I will play on this Xbox right here. (or even that Wii)

Oh and... I'm going to give in and buy Minecraft. Just as soon as Paypal is good to go.


TL;DL Podcast Episode 9: PORTAL KOMBAT!! (Yeah.. yeah.. I know)

HEY GUYS! REMEMBER WHEN GIANTBOMB WENT DOWN AND WE ALL FREAKED OUT!??!? Yeah... that's just like it was yesterday. Listen, if I know you guys (and I'm pretty sure I do.) you're really for another sexy orgy of TL;DL. and it's a long one. We have a lot of peoples. Vid, Ossi, Catolf, Bones, even a little bit of BronzDragon, ApathyLad, HALBERT and Dolphin BUTTer.  Let's just cut to the brass tax of this Mofo as we talk about Portals fighting each other for the glory of it all!



  • We talk PORTAL 2? MORTAL KOMBAT? Nothing else pretty much came out right?
  • PSN WAS DOWN? What do you think was the cause of it?
  • There was also that Might and Magic puzzle/strategy game that came out too. (speaking of which, anyone still play Heroes 3?)
  • So Ivy's boobs right? How the hell are we going to measure those? Bon has a solution (YES, BOOB TALK)
  • Dragon Age 2 Trophies are full of shit!
  • A Round Table Discussion of "Wii 2" Seriously, is this a good idea?
  • What will Nintendo achievements be like?
  • Uncharted 3 MP Beta...
  • PSP 2 Trophies?
  • Will iPad apps ever be considered for serious gaming?
  • FART MONSTERS (putting apps to use for serious gaming)
  • CHEX QUEST (There were 3 games of this?)
  • Bottled Water and MOUNT GAY RUM
  • We also answer our one user question! (KEEP EM COMING DOODS!!)


TL;DL Podcast Episode 8: The JUST-US League

If you thought the LAST EPISODE was short, well get a load of this. It's just an all Sleepy_Insomniac all Bonbolapti cast. WHY? well.. that's because we were the only ones awake to do it. (That's what happens when the host is a little late to the party.) So enjoy our Sleepy banter at 38:11 of FUN!


What you'll find in this Episode:

  • Talk talk talking about N64 if the last sunday social club has told you anything! The good, the bad, the just plain reminiscing.  Which is turn segues about blogging, how to make them tick properly.
  • Anyone up for a Drunk Podcast?
  • Oh, wait.. now we're talking about Drinking.
  • How Exactly can Portal be spoiled for someone?

  • We talk about the "Wii 2" What we've heard about it, what it means to us, and what we even want out of it. (controller? online? cupcakes?)
  • getting into the game, even if you know what it's all aboot.
  • CAPCOM STUFF Dragon's Dogma, SUPER DEAD RISING 2 TURBO, and Street Fighter X Tekken vs Tekken X Street Fighter!

  • NINTENDOGS + CATS TALK! Sleepy actually is having Trouble naming a cat, CAN YOU help him out? I only tried twice and they were fuckkking punny. 
  • We toy with the idea of answering listener questions. What do you think? want to ask us something? Go ahead and ask below and we'll save it for the podcast.
  • Sleepy is a _________ and a __________ .

Glorious My Stage [SSC 12]

Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, or Ganbare Goemon: Neo Monoyama Bakufu no Odori for short, is a wonderful little game for the Nintendo 64 Entertainment System.

[Before we get any further, how many of you people wonder how to pronounce his name? If you think it's pronounced 'Goy-mon' you'd probably be right! (I mean, I never would have guessed because I have a habit of pronouncing things, strictly North American.)]

YAY! It looks like your objectives are the same!
YAY! It looks like your objectives are the same!

I don't know what triggered the effect of wanting to play such a game. Perhaps it's something that Glentennis once wrote. ( probably about 5 reasons why it's the best N64 game ever.) Let me tell you, Glen has a lot going for him if he makes such a claim, because he's right. He makes a lot of the points I would probably make, (it plays like Zelda, it's hullarious, Giant robots, etc) So I don't know what I can say that hasn't been said already... only if you've read it?

It IS first and foremost a reason to get an N64. Er, it was a reason to get it on the N64. I would argue that the system itself was probably the biggest mistake that was ever conceived. But I can't argue that because I have a decent size collection of N64 games, and would probably continue to expand the roster. It's just hard to look at the system without thinking about all the better games on other systems. As 64 bit as the thing touted to be (in a world of 32) it really did look like ass, and most if not all games for it looked the same, and the textures were all blurry and barfy-face. We're not here to complain about the system though, we're here to make it look good.

This game has Giant enemy Crabs. (hurhurhur)
This game has Giant enemy Crabs. (hurhurhur)

But, Mystical Ninja is the right game to pick up for the N64 because of the series itself. It's quirky and fun! Sometimes even presents itself to be quite the challenge. (well.. this game is actually pretty easy. But then a game like “ Goemon's Great Adventure” comes along and kicks your asssss.) it has an air of a simpler time when games were just all about the fun of it. The terrible(y awesome) jokes, the energetic soundtrack! It kind of makes me wonder to the series as a whole.

The plot revolves around a mysterious group known as the Peach Mountain Gang, who's only aspiration in live is to forcefully entertain the world. I can't blame them, because that musical number is FABULOUS. Goemon and Ebisumaru basically take it upon themselves to stop the gang, and happen upon a series of weird circumstances in the process. Half of the weirdness definitely comes from the NPCs in each and every town that you meet along the way. You get this feeling that the developers knew how unnecessary to talk to all of the townsfolk all the time, so they really came up with some great, and quotable moments.

That's it for us! If only the title to this game was "*Starring Gate keeper*" rather than "*Starring Goemon*". Then, we'd have a lot more fun! Awww!
We'll just keep standing here until you clear the game. ... ...kinda painful... ... ...kinda depressing...

At roughly 10 hours it would be a shame not to give this ago, my only regret is that there were no side-quests to really do in this game so I couldn't exactly give myself the excuse to prolong the game time. But it serves as the perfect game to just play whenever the mood strikes. The ending of it definitely has an amazing pay off, may even be a little “epic?


Currently the Goemon fever is trying to continue, as I'm trying to play through Goemon's Great Adventure. As I alluded to before though, that shit is HARD. Gone, is pretty much most of the elements that made the first game so enjoy able (Don't worry, the humour is still intact.) while I do appreciate it's “ 2.5D” style. It's 3 hit points only and terrible jumping mechanic can quickly turn it from enjoyable to really frustrating. That's not to say that you can't stock up on supplies to give yourself more hit points, but skill definitely has to be an asset if you want to make it through. (The first area alone will probably toughen you up, if anything.)

So what have we learned? Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, is a Wonderful Action-RPG that is worthy of anyone's N64 Library. It's Zelda-ish, funny, and Bumpin' while still managing to look like an N64 ass N64 game. Goemon's Great Adventure on the other hand... not so much.

What I also find myself playing for some reason is the 'other N64 classic' (totally subjective.) WINBACK! Cover based shooting at it's worst... OR BEST?!?... tune in next time... maybe? Hilariously, I do not like that the team is called S.C.A.T... That just feels like a lot of foreshadowing of being shit on by the bad guys. you know? you get it? you guys? RIMSHOT?

 Before, I close this blog. I actually wanted to share something. Here's the blurb from the youtube description:

So way back in the day I used to play with MTV music Generator (back when it was good) and my notion for wanting to play around with samples and all that came into fruition.
Fast Forward to years later, I'm sitting on a mac and barely scratching the surface of what I can do with Garageband.
Usually when it comes to mixing and all that, I always have a habit of making the kind of music I would want to hear in a video game, This is one of those things. (Also, is helps to give it a silly name like I just did, to get you into that mindset.)
Halfway through I decided this should be a rap about Castlevania, but then I decided not to, and just put it up as is. I still think it's neat and I wanted to share. So ha.

 Yup, I played with garageband, and I liked it enough where I'm going to post it ever. everybody wins?

TL;DL Podcast 7 : We... pretty much got this one "whipped."

Welcome to another Episode of TL;DL. But you might say that this one is more of a TS;DC as Vidiot, Ossi, Sleepy_Insomniac, Apathylad and I return to give you that wholesome talking goodness. It's a day late and not part of the Regular Sunday Social Club because I got bogged down with website making, which apparently took away my entire evening. (with apologies to the people who were going to join in in Saturday night.) But let's get this under-way shall we?

No Caption Provided
First off I'm not going to lie, The intro theme, a little ditty from Sonic Shuffle (The worst Mario Party game ever.) was almost replaced WITH THIS. I was kind of proud of making it and wanted to show it off, maybe it's a good thing I didn't? I find Sonic Shuffle music the right kind of quirky. 
  • We kick off the talking with Nintendogs + Cats. Sleepy gives us the situation and talk of torturing animals ensues. Later on it segues to more 3DS talk with a point made on the last podcast, re-iterated and fully explained.

  • I talk about a recent 3D experience, and we have an amazing conversation about the German engineered Painstation.

  • Apathylad drops some sort of “ Visual Novel” that he's working on? But forget that, let's talk Bethesda Shenanigans!

  • What I've been doing I've already talked about.

  • Vidiot takes the floor and unloads some much needed conversation about Yakuza 4. how it holds up from 3, what's in store for the future of the franchise, and games that the team is currently working on.

  • I reminisce over Mystical Ninja 64, and how Konami should probably make/bring another one of those State-side.

  • Ossi, talks School Stuff websites, and mentions something about iPhone games. Hey? Hey?

But wait.. is there more? Well I guess you'll just have to find out!


Chime-tris [SSC12?]


My Grade 3 book report on Chime

Over the week I got the opportunity to play a wonderful game. I like it and you should too. It is now available for the PSN. Chime is the story of a boy named Chime, who became an orphan when a midnight raid attack everyone in his village, including his parents. Everything was burned to the ground and he was the only survivor. He vowed to get revenge on anyone who set fire to things.

While he journeyed along he found a pile of Tetraminos and a grid. He was bored enough to stop there and check it out, so he did. When he placed a Tetramino on the grid he found out it made a sound. It was beautiful music. So he sat down and placed more pieces on the grid. Suddenly, when he made a 3x3 square out of the pieces they turned into a Quad. These Quads in turn changed the color of the grid. That is when the boy realized what he had to do.

So with the Tertaminos in one hand and a grid in the other. The boy went straight to that tyrant of a king and burned the kingdom down, all to the tune of 'Brazil by Philip Glass.'

all in all I'd have to say this is a good book and I'd want anyone who is a music lover, to give this a read. You won't be disappointed!

 One Picture, is all you will get!
 One Picture, is all you will get!

That being said... Chime. It's pretty chill, right? I love me some games that have to do with music. Yeah, yeah.. I'm one of those people that humbly admit that they're totally into music and I'm not surprised that you're not surprised. But I've wanted to get a hold of Chime for a while now. (to be honest I'm really just waiting for a mac version of it to inevitably pop up.) So recently my roommate actually purchased it for his PS3 and I've managed to get my hands on it. I remember looking at it solely for it's soundtrack. I really like my game soundtracks but I also really love it when real music is introduced in a gamey way. It's why I still play Lumines from time to time when I remember that I still have a PSP.

This actually reminds me of a long time ago in the midst of 1ups better days, Jane (Pinkard? Packard?) was talking about video game soundtracks. Although I forget specifically what it was about the topic in my understanding was what about a game's soundtrack is very specifically what you always imagine it to sound like.

If that makes sense? Basically, Person A says: “The thing I recognize [for myself] as video game music is such and such game.”

Does that make sense yet?

My answer to it was Jet Set Radio. Basically when I think of Video game music I think of Jet Set Radio. Hideki Naganuma managed to capture the energy and enthusiasm that I feel speaks to me as if it were to say “man, this is a video game.” Sounds kind of stupid when I just say it like that. But you know, everybody's got their one sound that really speaks to them as “THE video game music.” Even if everyone and their dog would flood this blog with some kind of Final Fantasy song. Or we'd live in an alternate world where everyone loves Chrono Trigger's OST a little too much. I've seen a lot of “Best Soundtrack Ever” threads but I sometimes feel like not a lot of people have stopped to think about it.

Prove me wrong? Give me an essay? YEAH! That'll be the day. 


TL;DL Episode 6: Too much Cat, not enough Olf

Welcome welcome, Let's try something a little different this Sunday. It's a change of course! As you know, I usually take the time to build a Sunday Social Club for such a day of the week, but considering I haven't played much of anything but Dragon Age II I just wanted to stop typing about it and shed some light on more important matters.
The 6 Episode of TL;DL is up and I wanted to shed a little more light on it, instead of it being a foot note and the bottom of an SSC. As you may be able to tell.. it's still a little 'kinky' sometimes sentences get cut off. I blame this solely around the fact that we are using Vent to podcast and can't quite figure out why we get cut off before a certain point of letting go of the button... can someone shed light on this?
Other than that, the Podcast go as follows. It's a shame that Ace and Sleepy didn't show up like we wanted them to, because we had quite a hefty talk on the 3DS. Most of us have managed to have limited experiences and those were the only two guys we knew that owned one and they both had different views on the topic. Yet we talked about it anyway.
  • Ossi Talks Starcraft 2 Tourney, Giantbomb style.
  • And as if I wouldn't shut up about Dragon Age 2 already. Tiwi and I, shed a little more light on our experiences.
  • Soon followed was MvC3 talk that segued into a hefty conversation about Devil May Cry's own Dante.
  • Stuff basically happened.

Special thanks to Vidiot, Ossi, Tiwi, Commodore_Groovy, and a super special thanks to Catolf for totally being cool and hanging out with us.   
EDIT: I totally forgot that Halberdierv2 was in here IF ONLY for a little bit :(

  Right Click, Save as...

No Caption Provided

The Pink EYE [SSC11]

So it's been a while hasn't it? At the beginning of the I found myself on a vacation in Huatulco, Mexico for a week with absolutely nothing to play. Seriously. I brought nothing with me, it was vacation! T'was much needed and everything, but since I got back I've found myself in a bit of a funk. I couldn't sit there and bring myself to typing. Perhaps vacation was still on my mind. Or the Dry itchy redness in my eyes. Well it's not like I wasn't typing because I was sure as hell playing a lot of Dragon Age II. Which by the way I've started up my 3 run as a mage, and already that brother of Hawke's is such a cunt, I can already predict him siding with the Templars so HARD it isn't even funny. 
 This is Merrill from DA:O! Change for the better, am i right?
 This is Merrill from DA:O! Change for the better, am i right?
In my second run, I felt really bad about being such a dick to Merrill. Probably because she was the love interest the first time around, for me to come around and not help her out with the mirror at all, I FELT REALLY BAD. I was even trying to be nice throughout the rest of the game and nothing would give. It really strikes me as weird how they will continue to be mad about everything you do, even when you're trying to be nice. Are they trying to be nice or is it just broken? I don't think Merrill has it in her heart (or in her head) to be someone's rival. But that's just what I think, people with too good of a heart don't have the capacity to NOT realize that what they're doing is ACTUALLY wrong. ( GAWD SO CLOSE TO S-RANKING.... EVEN THOUGH I PROBABLY NEED THE DLC TO DO THAT. *FROWNY FACE* ) 
Turns out I ended up liking this game a hell of a lot more than I thought I did. This game is almost “ Nier-Calibur (That doubles as a PUN... right?) for me, which there are people probably taking that comment the wrong way, but this is a good thing. Definitely since I can stand multiple play throughs of this game without actually having to be in the MOOD for it. Unlike Origins, which as good as it is, I really had to be in the right mode to want to play through that game. I blame it's pacing. So yeah, DAII has it's improvement on that. A little sad there's not variety in terms of environments but, there's a lot of games out there that have very little environments but are still fun as hell to play.
In terms of other video games, I for some reason got it into my head that I could probably stand playing DOA EXtreme 2 for some reason. But you know how you start playing a video game, and immediately you KNOW that you could be playing something way better than what you just put in. Beach Spikers has crossed my mind more than enough times while I was even considering playing DOAX2. To be honest, I almost would have considered streaming it, but the game wasn't working and my macbook is just too slow for that sort of thing. BUT OK, so I understand why I got the game in the first place. It's because the first one wasn't that bad, or I was young enough to not realize how ridiculous it really was. Because all I ever did was play the game for the volleyball. The rest of the reasons are clearly because I'm a guy, but it goes without saying that I bought the least revealing swimsuit and played volleyball because I just didn't care.
 I'm so Depressed.
 I'm so Depressed.
But here I am, playing this fucking game, because I was in the mood for some gawdamn volleyball, but I think I look at all 360 games from a weird achievement perspective now, and I look at the achievements for this game. And I just end up hating myself. I'm a grown man that just can't do this anymore it's time put the individual boob physics away and carry on lesser but still shallow means in other games. At least something a little less Japanese. Again, this is where Beach Spikers comes in! Good, wholesome, old-fashioned arcade volleyball.
But since I mentioned about how I look at 360 games from a achievement perspective, I actually wonder how many people got achievements for that game? And did they S-rank it? Would the admit to it? If they do, what kind of people are they? Are we allowed to judge them?
Oh well, now more pressing matters, The 3DS is out this weekend and some people are excited, but then some people are not? Me? I'm excited, and I do want to get one. If not at launch then definitely when RE: Revelations comes around. Since the passing month I've noticed the retarded trend in un-boxing videos for this thing. Maybe one I can stand, but if you're like me and frequent gonintendo from time to time, You'd have seen so many youtube videos of the exact same thing:

“ OH here's a box! Oh we opened it! What could possibly be inside? OH MAN, is that at 3DS? Check this shit out! I bet you're totally digging this video but it ain't nothing like the feeling of experiencing it for yourself. Because lets face it, the 3D technology doesn't translate well on recorded video so then I guess my video is done. OH but CHECK THIS OUT. A video of the exact same thing my man! RELIVE THE EXPERIENCE or just hear someone else's take on what it's like to un-box the HELL out of this shit.”

 Forgive me for being cynical but someone is going to have to explain to me why un-boxing videos are a good idea. (This is especially absurd when you're un-boxing the cartridge) GB Mailbags are entertaining if only because it's not really about the mail they get, it's the personalities getting the mail. No matter. I'm really just in a tizzy because I haven't been able to be hands on with the 3DS myself. Which is going to change sometime soon, I'd hope so anyway. There's a bunch of select days that there will be some form of a Nintendo Kiosk around Vancouver showing off the thing. It was apparently at the mall on Tuesday but nobody tells me anything, so I have monday afternoon to see what all the fuss is about. But in the meantime, I guess one more video about what it's like to play Nintendogs + Cats isn't going to hurt.| 
 So in case file #45912 of 'Everybody's doing it.” I set up an account on and finally got the audio working for that thing.
Yeah, really there's nothing on it or happening at the moment, I'm honestly trying to figure out why I'm going to bother putting it to use. I want to think of a million and one bad reasons behind streaming. Which, if you didn't tell before was some slow ass Luigi's Mansion play Dolphin doesn't work very well on a macbook does it? Oh well, looks like it'll just be SNES games from here on out. 
So incase you're asking yourself, “Where exactly is the latest 'not quite award winning but definitely on it's way' TL;DL? I have been waiting forever!” If you have , that's very sweet of you! I appreciate your listening and what always gives stuff like this, legs, is audience... But just give me a while to settle back in! Apparently I'm the host and the backbone of this recording so it's up to me to organize them. Ossi or even Sleepy_Insomniac could have held the mantle for a week or so. Hell, I even suggested it . BUT NOOOOOOOOooo! So uh... maybe next week? I'll keep you posted! In the meantime look to the stars for your horoscope that was specifically written especially for you!
OH, did I mention that I have pink eye? 

Ramble Party: Dragon Age II (it's like, after impressions hurhur)

[Note: This is more of a brain dump about the game because I feel like I have too many thoughts going on and can't collectively put them in order. So this is what we get, a Ramble. TAKE WHAT YOU WILL FROM IT. ALSO, probably lots of spoilers because I don't care to be sensitive to that shit. So you've been warned.] 
Having Kicked Dragon Age II square in the face. (in terms of beating it/wrapping it up) I'm here with more of a review than an impression of this game. This... Short game.
 You have some blood on your face, HERE TAKE MY NAPPY!
 You have some blood on your face, HERE TAKE MY NAPPY!
Let's cut to the chase here, This is a short fucking game. It's a three act play that can be done in roughly 2 days. But from my experience in playing Mass Effect 1 and 2, this game is probably around the same length of time as every other Bioware game that's been released in the past (however many) years. The only difference is that this game FEELS short. Possibly because of how mapped out it is as three acts. But it's also because the game is comprised entirely out of side quests. The direction for the overall story doesn't feel like it's there, so you could end up just wandering aimlessly and then just happen to beat the game before you know it. This doesn't necessarily feel like a bad thing but, (This has happened to my friend, as well as me) you're left wanting more. It just doesn't feel “complete”! That could be my own doing, I feel like there's quests I could have missed out on, seeings how I played the entire game without Isabella, I JUST HAD NO IDEA WHERE SHE WAS. So I went on the expedition anyway and didn't even bother looking back.
I suppose the only answer to that is to just wait for Bioware to release all of their planned DLC before playing it again but that always made me sad to resort to that. I haven't even given MEII a second play through but I guess I'm going to wait till that new DLC for it comes out, that I can be happy I'm playing a really BIG game right? Oh that reminds me of something that I should probably address.
Okay so, I think there are a lot of people that have the wrong impression about this game, or maybe even the series? Well let's look at it shall we? The first game is called Origins for a reason. It's the first game in the series to set up the world, but it's also tongue in cheek (if you would call it anything) about it's theme of starting the game as any number or races with any number of lifestyles. I think a lot of people were into that so much that they probably thought every game was going to be like that. If you really think about it though, you could see that they want to set up a big enough world so they could tell more stories, with different characters. You know, actually build a character sustained in the world that you don't have to make yourself, to care about. But I guess you could still argue that you should still be able to make your own character with the different race and everything. But there's also nothing wrong with letting them create their own character with his own shit worry about.
I could agree that it's what takes away from the experience a bit, but I never expected it to be exactly like Origins and I doubt that the 3 game will be a continued story of the champion. They created enough lore that they could do whatever they want with it and I wouldn't care about how I had to play the game.
[I've also heard that people are comparing Hawke To Shepard, but that's just misguided due to the fact that the game just feels more like MEII cosmetically, These two characters are nothing alike.]
Characters this time around definitely have a personality, but they seem a little more, instigative. Or how can I put this? There's always that one thing about them that they keep pushing to the point where they start coming off as One dimensional, Anders is a good example of this story wise, being it doesn't matter what you do, he's still going to make you hate him in the end. He hates Templars so much that everything else he's about as a character seems almost like a distraction and out of character for him to even (want to) have a personality.
 Jokes are funny
 Jokes are funny
Fenris, is one sided with the fact that IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO, he's always just going to be a little bitch to every decision you make, and nothing can make that cunt happy. Aveline shines in my eyes as the character with the most development, a woman who only knows how to do one thing with her life but eventually learns to grow in terms of strength, friendship, love, while still being devoid of a sense of humour. Merrill was my choice of love interest (because that's the kind of women I seem to go for in reality) which actually made if interesting for me to play the game as a guy with this totally hot elf with a great personality who is so far deep into blood magic that she'll never even realize how wrong it is. (while I was typing this, I had no idea she was part of the Dalish Elf Origin Story. I guess she didn't make that big of an impact for me then, but I feel bad because that was my Origin in the first game :( ) It all plays out in the end in the weirdest way when everyone picks a side. It's all too abrupt and never impacted me in anyway when I found myself killing Fenris because he hated mages THAT MUCH. The dude was in my party the whole time and we've been through the worst. Meredith was an insane enough bitch that it shouldn't be hard to figure out WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING. But I guess if he wants to go off and be a flawed character that's his problem.
It was even weirder to see Anders on the Mages Side after I told him to fuck off. Nobody should have been able to forgive him enough to let him fight along side him.
You know, I think this games flaw isn't bad story telling, but bad decision making. The dialogue trees are never what you think they're going to be, the initial headline is what the sentence is supposed to mean but it's never how it's said. That's always really irked me, especially since this game seems to sneak in serious ramifications for what you think is just going to be a simple outcome. I really hate that about this game. Bioware needs to work on being clear what their conversations are going to be, it's been how many games where they're done dialogue trees and it still kind of feels like they're not even doing them right. OHKAY LET'S JUST KILL ALL THE DALISH ELVES BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE ALL I TOLD THEM TO DO WAS SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN.
 This is ALSO a screenshot.
 This is ALSO a screenshot.
Meredith works as the villain for this game. She's hate-able but gives a good enough reason for here tyranny even though she's holding a plot device that exaggerates her attitude. She's played up very well in the first act that when you finally meet her you understand exactly what you're going to have to do and becomes the driving force for playing the rest of the game and pays off very well if you can get into it. Orsino, on the other hand, fails as the voice of reason. He's put there only for the sake of deciding between two things doesn't even have any other development besides “MEREDITH UGH, SHE'S SO MEAN, UGH. SHE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL, UGH! SOMEONE HAS TO STOP HER.” Well at least Meredith has all these other characters and side quests talking her up like she's actually going to mean something to the story. Like okay, you KNOW that you're going to decide one thing or the other. I played through half the game openly supporting the mages but Orsino can't even make it look like my decision is going to be good.
And allow me to go on ANOTHER tangent by saying that there's no point in making decisions if the game is just going to play out the same. DAII plays out a little too linear, (or at least feels that way.) but I suppose I should take the time to play through Pro Templar before I make any rash decisions about this game.
So as you can probably tell, well maybe... hopefully, I'm at a loss with this game. It's not bad-- Quite ENJOYABLE actually. But as a story it's too short in it's length, presentation, and abruptness. Focusing on a single character than rather a whole bunch does not damage the game for me in any way, in fact it's good for them, because I don't see why not. I think what I would like though is dialogue trees that actually make sense. Instead of ones that get me frustrated that I have to rationalize what just happened and then convince myself that “they know what they're doing, they write dialogue all the time.”
As the game is too short, I can only assume that they have nothing but DLC planned for this thing, But in terms of what we should expect for the next game? I expect that if they continue to tell the story of the champion they would still have to call it Dragon Age II but give it a sub-title, As it's my understanding/come to expect every Dragon Age game to be a different story/characters from the other one. They really have a nice thing going and I doubt they could really screw it up. Unless they want to convolve everything with carry over of decision after decision that the games just become a shorter mess of EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE TO EVERY GAME SO FAR. It's really cool and all, don't get me wrong. But Dragon Age, if they're not too careful, can really suffer from that. And that's something I wouldn't want to see happen.



Dragon Age II impressions: Dragon Ager

There's a lot of things about Dragon Age II that I really want to talk about. Maybe I can't quite pinpoint it exactly or potentially just shouldn't, Because then I'd have to say “spoiler warning” and that's just such a fucking annoying thing to do in this day and age. (Seriously kids, you take the fun out of taking about things.) 
 " Your geostigma is gone... That's too bad." 
I can honestly though, come right out and say how it's kind of funny/strange that the game looks like it does. At a movie perspective the first one is the one that sets up the fiction, much like Origins did. Tremendous amount of lore rolling out, to give you an idea of their Post DnD imagination. So because of that, the look was never quite there, as if they didn't have quite all the assets, or placeholders for things just became final during that time because the game just had to come out. You know, the game generally didn't look like there was any production value at all.
So now Dragon Age II comes along and it is clearly the game with all the better stage make-up and costume design. Prettier environments, prettier people, but perhaps that makes it seem all too different from the first game. All the races look and feel drastically different, elves are tiny and frail, Qunari aren't big dudes in poorly done, 'black face' makeup. Dwarves, perhaps look a little more uncanny valley. Humans no longer [all] looking ugly as sin. One could make the argument that since it's a completely different continent things are allowed to look different. Perhaps, but Dalish elves and Qunari are far more alien then they originally looked. It's not a bothersome detail, but it'll be something to think about when the next Dragon Age comes along. Say, perhaps the next game will go back to taking place in Fereldan. Would you find that a little odd to look everything to be as different as it looks in this game?
  "If this is a real phaser, then I *was* on the Enterprise. But I fired it on myself, so I should be dead. None of this is real." 
No matter, there's also the comments to make about the voice acting, a lot more to it, in terms of additional voices, I mean. More accents flying around the city. I think it's for the better, as I said, it's probably a production value thing. (Or they really wanted to push things to sound more like they want them to.) There's also the matter of the main character. This is where people seem to get uppity. Sure, ok, yeah, Lady Hawke is probably the better voice actor. You can't, however, tell me that I will enjoy the game a lot more if I play through the game with the better voice actor, that's too much of an excuse. To be honest there's nothing wrong with Guy Hawke's voice, especially since they're the exact same character. Male Shepard is a terrible voice, he's still fucking awesome. People don't listen to Neil Young because he's a good singer. So I'm enjoying my play through as a Cary Elwes like dude.
There's actually, also another funny thing about the voice. It feels as though the look really has to match the words. Sure, in the beginning, you go all willy-nilly with the look, play around with how ever cool you think you're making him, then you hear Hawke speak. And it totally breaks your perfectly crafted character. I had that problem with the first bit of the game, but maybe I just shouldn't have edited him in the first place. I did after all, feel as though they wanted a very specific look to the main character. Someone so cool where you would look at him and go, “There's no need for me to edit this at all. I'd have to be stupid.” so maybe I feel as if I'm in the wrong a little bit for playing around with his face, I touched him up nicely in the Black Emporium though and am now satisfied with the look to voice ratio.
Then there's the little things, like how much some things feel adoptive from Mass Effect 2, menus specifically being the center of my comparisons. Only having to really worry/care about the inventory of Hawke. Mining materials instead of just collecting them feels really weird to me, especially if you just walk up to one Elfroot or something, that's alllll by itself and then it's treated like they're always going to go to that one small little plant to keep collecting them. It stranger to me how everything is a lot more action based than RPG feeling. I know it's a cosmetic thing for a console, but it does leave me a little impatient in battles, when I keep pressing buttons and enemies show up in waves at a time. I chose the warrior class because it's no different from being rogue save for lock picking and trap finding. I just like big swords and I cannot lie.
Picture of Dragon For Prosperity
Picture of Dragon For Prosperity
Lastly, Characters! I love the characters. They're all interesting enough to me where I would want to keep them all around equally. But I feel like this post is getting long enough and I don't want to get into them. I can say though, that the quality I loved about the first Dragon Age was the banter of your party members, So it definitely feels as though they worked on that a heck of a lot more in this game. Especially the way they interact to story as it unfolds, no static! You know what I mean? Nobodies standing around with their thumbs up their asses, and you're not waiting a little bit to hear what they have to say, only to have their dialogue make no real effect to the conversation at hand. So it's especially neat that this game even has specific moments in dialogue trees where you can let these other characters chime in to something that's happening.