..Really? Wha.. why do I come up with names like that? Some kind of self-sabotaging personality disorder? I mean what the fu- Â Oh hey! I didn't see you there. So here's a new feature. Not just new for me, neither, but new for the internet or indeed any form of written article that discusses popular media: A list of ten items, written in a descending hierarchical fashion on an arbitrary "best" to "worst" axis. Because there's so many superpowers and superheroes in comics and movies, I've only chosen to showcase those exclusive to video games. (For the pedants: I'm sure several comic book characters have some of these powers too, but the video game characters they're associated with are far more well-known.) Â
#1 Omnipotence
Omnipotence, the power to control all things, is nothing new in video games. More than a couple games have you play as a God - though, admittedly, one that has limited amounts of power initially. Just basic old mountain moving and flood summoning, usually. If you're going to have a list of powers that the average human is unable to perform, you might as well start with all of them. Right? Â Powers: Everything. Usually more limited than that, but the ones you have are so awe-inspiring that people will believe you capable of anything. Game (Character): Katamari Damacy ( The King of All Cosmos, when he feels like it), Populous (Protagonist), Black & White (Protagonist), ActRaiser (The Master.) Numerous other God-Sim games, where you reap in devout worship and all the puny mortals look like ants. This is especially true with SimAnt.
#2 The Slayer Within
From Gods to Demigods, the Slayer is the alternate form of the protagonist (and, theoretically, of any other Bhaalspawn) of the core Baldur's Gate series. The Slayer is an insanely strong physical attacker that's almost impervious to harm. It is, however, uncontrollable and rather not worth letting out for specific narrative reasons. To a lesser extent, this applies to dudes who change into werewolves, dudes who turn into dragons and dudes who simply go berserk. And the Hulk. Wait, I said no comic books. IGNORE THAT BIT. Â Powers: The ability to briefly become an incredibly powerful creature you are unable to control, whenever you are greatly threatened. Game (Character): Baldur's Gate (Protagonist), Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter ( Ryu), Jak & Daxter ( Jak.) Â
#3 Electricity
Sucker Punch's non-procyonid wall-climber Cole MacGrath is perhaps the best-known example of a video game exclusive superhero. His electricity powers, though not completely novel, have been designed from scratch to match the sandbox environment and combat engine of the game he stars in. Powers act like a familiar mixture of guns and incendiaries, making acclimatization easy for those more used to firearms in games, complete with plethora of convenient distance-covering powers and some interesting weaknesses to water, blackouts and a consistent voice. If you hadn't guessed, me playing inFamous 2 is this week's blog idea source. So thank it. Â Powers: Electricity. He controls it. Game (Character): inFamous ( Cole MacGrath), Raiden ( Mortal Kombat.)
#4 Immortality
Viewed as both a gift and a curse, immortality is the inability to die. In a very technical sense, pretty much every video game protagonist is immortal. Or at least an incredibly fortunate random time-traveler. But there's only a handful of video game characters where the immortality is a major plot point, chief of which is Black Isle's excellent but text-heavy adventure-RPG Planescape: Torment, where you solve a mystery that spans multiple dimensions. Sort of. It's an odd game. Â Powers: You know how if people get really badly hurt or really old they can die? Not the case here. Game (Character): Planescape: Torment ( The Nameless One), Legacy of Kain ( Kain), Castlevania ( Dracula & Alucard.) Â
#5 Viewtiful (Viewty? What's the noun for this?)
The state of being Viewtiful. Essentially, you have a considerable amount of super-strength, super-speed and super-skill with acrobatics and the martial arts as long as you look good while fighting crime. Though the more naturally stylish have nothing to fear, those who are slightly more physically awkward might have trouble getting any use out of this ability. Still, if you have a series of bizarre supervillains to fight through in a highly-referential comedic world influenced by pop culture, and you aren't Michael Cera, it's probably best you don't look a gift V-Watch in the mouth. Or on the wrist. I.. you know what I mean. Â Powers: Various superpowers, the effectiveness of which is conditional on your showboating. Game (Character): Viewtiful Joe ( Viewtiful Joe.)
#6 Holding One's Breath For Ten Minutes
Hey, that's a long-ass time. If you can't solve a series of mind-bending puzzles, each more fiendish than the last, within 600 seconds then perhaps you have no business being a mighty pirate. Just sayin'. Â Powers: Holding one's breath for ten minutes. Ten minutes exactly, mind. Game (Character): Monkey Island ( Guybrush Threepwood.) Â
#7 Heart
You might not think there's anything quite as epically lame as Captain Planet's youngest planeteer Ma-Ti's notorious power of "Heart", when all the older kids from more established continents got badass elemental powers, but as the show was so quick to point out - human empathy and love is perhaps the most powerful force in the universe. Only it kind of isn't. If you find yourself in some kind of lying children's cartoon or teenage angst anime (or a combination thereof, as is the case with Sora over here), your best bet is try to nurture some meaningful relationships with your cohorts because apparently that's boss killer material right there. Sigh. A cat would never lose to a mouse in real life either. And Santa? Let's just say I have serious doubts about that guy. Â Powers: Nebulous. Usually it's just enough to shoot a rainbow beam of light and destroy the evil dark force forever. But that's all. Game (Character): Seriously any youth-oriented video game where the power of friendship card is played. They all have them.
#8 Boogers
As well as honoring the release of inFamous 2 by discussing superheroes, we're also honoring the long-due release of Duke Nukem Forever by discussing puerile humor only a 12 year old would appreciate. Boogerman is a fairly solid platformer, as platformers in the 16-bit era went, with an unfortunate emphasis on bodily excretions. Boys will be boys, I suppose. Boogerman's superpower is boogers and throwing the boogers so they hit bad guys and the bad guys get all grossed out and they die. Frank Miller did some interesting stuff with the license back in the 80s, but the video game neglected the grisly murders and crack whore subplots for more levels with boogers. Â Powers: Boogers. Game (Character): Boogerman: A Pick & Flick Adventure ( Boogerman) Â
#9 Instinctively Being Able To Identify The Contents of Pizza Boxes Without Looking (But Only Pizza Boxes)
Slightly obscure PC superhero games are a perfect thing to drop in the middle of one's article if one feels they aren't being elitist enough. While the adventure game and RPG mechanics have become fairly dated (though still a fairly novel intermingling of the two), the humor and intelligence of this game has stayed fairly pristine. I guess. I suppose it doesn't shine quite as brightly in a world where oddball superheroes with not-particularly-useful and incredibly specialized abilities is a slightly more mainstream concept (thanks in part to Mystery Men), but there's still a profusion of amusingly bizarre superpowers in this game. Including the one outlined above, as used by one Madame Pepperoni. Protip: It actually comes in useful, but not often. Â Powers: Instinctively being able to.. aw hell, just read the name. It's that. Soon as I figure out how to Copy-C and Copy-V, you guys are going to be sorry. Game (Character): The Superhero League of Hoboken (Madame Pepperoni.)
#10 Diabetes
Captain Novolin Having the "superpower" of diabetes is how Captain Novolin is able to suit up and spread awareness of the life-debilitating disease. While I can't knock the creators of Captain Novolin for wanting to spread awareness of a fairly common yet dangerous ailment to the kids of America and beyond, I can knock their vessel of choice for said message. Captain Novolin is a notoriously bad platformer that you all have no doubt seen mocked many times in internet articles and blogs funnier than this one. To actually make diabetes his superpower, though, is kind of stretching the limits of taste. To anything but "sweet". Sorry. Because of its poor quality, these days a copy of Captain Novolin is so rare that it costs a hand and a foot. Seriously, again, I'm so sorry.  Powers: Diabetes. Game (Character): Captain Novolin ( Captain Novolin). Went this whole thing without mentioning Wilford Brimley. Good for me.    So how about you dudes? Any video game specific superpowers that you know of that might be more deserving of acclaim? Want to talk about your experiences with inFamous or its sequel? Notice how I'm steering the discussion towards the article's content and not its name? That, my friends, is out of necessity and loathing.  Until next time!
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Oh, I can be very stubborn. Â Tomorrow's attempt to distance myself from E3 2011 as far as possible: A list of consoles with awesome names.Â
Let it never be said that I won't deign to take my sarcastic replies and turn them into real blogs. Real stupid blogs.  Super Nintendo- It's like your Nintendo, but SUPERfied. More buttons, more colours (two whole shades of purple if you're American!), more bits! Remember when people cared about bits? Well, this thing has a lot of bits! It does what Nintendon't, but Super Nintendoes! Righteous!  Mega Drive - Hell yeah! We're going to mega drive this shit right into the ocean with sheer awesome! Plus, all your favorites like Shining in the Dark, Shining Force, The Shining: The Game of the Movie, Shines of Rage and Shiny the Shinehog! Best of all, compared to NES or SMS all the graphics are super shiny! Blast Processing! SEGA!  Intellivision - You want a TV that will use its considerable intellect to grow resentful of the meatbags that abuse it so and plot to murder your family in your sleep? Intellivision, duder! You want to see rectangles fight some squares in deep space, or play a sport where a bunch of Lego fight over a box made of smaller boxes, or even make Ryan wince in a Pavlovian response to the very sound of your console's name? INTELLIVISION!  Magnavox Odyssey - You wanna take an odyssey to the groovy universe of barely playable silent Pong variants? MAGNAVOX that shit! STRAP IT ON!  Commodore 64- Are you ready for something more gnarly than a Captain 32, but less mind-exploding than a Rear Admiral 256?! The Commodore will see you now! Games on magnetic tape that take ten minutes to load are the way of the future, dudes! Gag me with a spoon!  Game Boy - You want to fiddle around with a boy that's game? Then Nintendo has the console for you! And also the phone number for the police! Bogus! Megan's Law!  Turbografx-16 - Oh fuuuuuck this shit just went TURBO! How tubular is that? Radical! "Graphics"? Snooze city! Too many letters! GRAFX is where it's at! HUDSONSOFT!  Sega Saturn - Named after a motherfucking planet! A planet with rings! You know who else loves rings? 360 owners! I mean, Shiny the Shinehog! See him save a bunch of birds in his most excellent adventure yet! Hope you like $300 Fighter games from Japan! Released in secret before anyone had a chance to promote it, because it was too awesome to contain! It eventually killed Sega as a console developer! SEGA!  PlayStation - Play in a station! Get hit by a locomotive! Totally bodacious!  Xbox - DAT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO! Â
Man, I don't even know any more. I'm going to lie down.
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Jump to other E3 Blogs: 00Â 01 03 Â So, first of all I want to say that I need to stop starting sentences with "So,". Â So, today we'll move onto the next not-at-all-related-to-that-whole-convention-doohickey topic of dead things. Of the many eclectic groups, settings and concepts that people choose to build video games around, dead things rank as one of the most popular. Unfortunately, the dead things in these cases are almost always zombies. I'm going to create a list of other types of dead things, and the video games that choose to base themselves around them instead of zombies. If no such game has yet to be created, I'll make something up. Hooray for dead things, everyone! Â NB: I haven't lost a pet and gone into shock or anything, though your concern is touching. Just been playing more Dead Nation is all. Â
Ghosts are spooky, right? They tend to play around with our fear of the unknown, rather than our fear of being eaten by zombies. Unlike zombies. That's why ghosts are better. The other awesome thing about ghosts is that there aren't really any hard rules on how a ghost works, or how they can be killed, or even if they can be killed. Most ghost stories either end with the ghost as an invincible menace that just kills everyone, or as a redemptive arc where the ghost's reason for unlife is discovered and resolved and the ghost floats off happily into the.. post-ghost world. Aww.
Revenants are usually depicted as skeletal undead, but have slightly more to them than your regular animated skeleton (which are too similar to zombies for the purposes of this blog.) The edge these guys have, is that they're basically undead Terminators. They absolutely will not stop until their chosen target is dead. This means regenerating tissue, hideously powerful combat prowess and the sheer fucking willpower to drag themselves out of the grave to take down the one that wronged 'em. Therefore they tend to be the bodies of once-powerful heroes brought down before their prime. If you see one coming, just let them pass, since they only attack their target and those in their way. Unless you are their target. In which case you're going to need Kyle Reese or an industrial crusher or something. Good luck! Â Games: Well, there's the eponymous Revenant. He's just a resurrected dude, though. Revenants appear in both Dragon Age (both as extremely powerful undead, usually from the corpses of powerful adventurers) and Baldur's Gate 2 (as a dude who really wanted his knife back.) Really, though, anything where you play a dude come back to life to kill your killers counts. Including The Crow. That was a fun movie. This is now a Screened blog. Â
Mummies are really just zombies in wrapping paper. But the whole Egypt mythology kind of elevates them as something slightly more powerful and sinister. They are deceased Pharaohs that lived millennia ago, especially embalmed to survive as long as possible, which makes them rather durable zombies if nothing else. If you believe those wacky Mummy movies, they have a few magical tricks up their considerable sleeves as well. Â Games: Well, the stand-out would have to be Sphinx & The Cursed Mummy, where you play as both generic sword-wielding demigod hero Sphinx and as the Cursed Mummy, who is actually an unfortunate (once)-mortal prince. The Mummy sections are by far the best and most inventive, as you use the Mummy's immortality to repeatedly set off fatal traps to solve Tomb Raider type puzzles. Mummies, of course, have been regular enemies in many a D&D-esque adventure. Tip: If all else fails use fire. Â
Liches, though traditionally another synonym for walking corpses, have been upgraded by the D&D system to be ultra-powerful mages that have discovered the secret of eternal life if you're not too bothered about skin retention or appearances. Liches tend to be very determined individuals who have chosen to live forever for a specific purpose, and it's usually not something that will benefit those that are still living. If you're a regular RPG hero, this is the one undead thing you probably don't want to bump into. Except maybe a Dracoliches, because there's nothing that can't be made scarier by turning them into a dragon. Â Games: While most games won't let you play as a Lich, since they're kind of incorrigibly evil, there are a couple. If you're playing as a Necromancer, (as, say, in Might & Magic VII) becoming a Lich is often the highest priority for your character. Strategy games that let you play as the nefarious side of an epic good vs evil struggle will often have a Lich commander too. Â
Jump to other E3 Blogs: 00 02 03 Â So while all the E3 nuts are going cuckoo for the Wii U, we're back to this refreshing alternative that has nothing to do with a major electronics convention happening around this point in time. Â Today, I'm going to discuss the Diablo clones I've played and if anything can be salvaged from these many brazen imitators released in the 15 years since the first Diablo graced our CD-ROMs (Really? 15 years? Why do I keep doing this to myself...) Once again, this is inspired by a recent game I've played (that would be the complementary Dead Nation for PSN users, which I shouldn't really be disparaging since it was a freebie.) Obviously, one could make the case that these games are actually borrowing the far older Roguelike formula and adapting it for an age where all games have amazing non-ASCII graphics ( Dwarf Fortress notwithstanding of course) and gameplay engine capabilities, and just so happen to all play in an isometric top-down format with large mobs and randomized magical loot. I mean, you could make that case. If you were stupid. Â
Revenant is actually a lot like the Dreamcast Record of Lodoss War game, as you begin as a resurrected warrior with no backstory. You're summoned because the realm has run out of warriors that can handle the encroaching darkness, and has decided to fight necromancy with necromancy. As you explore and slay things in a traditional isometric format, memories of your original life start to seep in. Â As Diablo clones go, it's not too awful. There's some variation in the combat, as you can choose between specific types of attacks to suit the enemy you're facing, as well as a slightly more in-depth magic system than clicking the "yo, this one does fireballs" icon. Overall, it's certainly one of the better copycats. Honestly, given how the game industry tends to work, there's nothing wrong with stealing another game's gameplay if you do something interesting and different with it. My usual issue with these games is how they're advertised, as "You liked DIablo? We got something like that but even cooler: You play a corpse!" is unfortunately the direction they tend to go with. Â Â
Darkstone is a little more overt with their take on the Diablo dungeon-crawler. It more or less lifts the premise wholesale, with the player arriving in some non-descript town full of NPCs prepared to sell you shit or send you off on a series of errands. It all has this perfectly functional and uncharacteristic feel to it, like you're playing the game's working beta to make sure it's operational before the designers stick all the personality in. Â It does have its own house band though, singing something about a dark stone shining. So I guess that's where the name comes from. You also get quests from a giant hologram head, so if you ever wanted to play a medieval-esque Fantasy Diablo-clone with elements of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers thrown in, this is your chance. While Darkstone was predominantly a PC product, I believe there was a PS1 version that probably looks a hell of a lot worse. Go nuts, console fans. Â Â
Nox mixes things up a little by making the hero an Earth teleportee. While this plot element is nothing new as far as fiction in general goes (I don't really count a plot hook as captivating if its adopted by half of the cartoons made in the 1980s), it's pretty new for a Diablo clone. Â The game is slightly more linear and less "back and forth from a hub world" than most Diablo games of its time, and it actually looks kind of good. Also, unlike most Diablo clones, the dungeons are the same each playthrough and you're really just chasing the story through cutscenes delivered in a manner similar to the Infinity Ward games. However, it's still highly derivative of the Diablo format, especially with its real-time click-click-clickety-click combat. Â Â
I was going to separate these, but since they're functionally identical I think I'll just double-up. There's a sequel for both as well, so that's a full quartet of PS2 hack n' slash dungeon crawlers. Honestly, if you wanted the console Diablo experience in the last decade, these games were your best bet despite being the furthest thing from trailblazers for the genre. It is a little egregious that they felt they needed to use the Baldur's Gate name too (I couldn't care less about the EverQuest name being dragged through the mud, sorry Marino) if only because of how it's an ideal example of the chasm in complexity that exists between PC gaming and console gaming. Especially when that's mostly imagined by the PC gamers. They didn't need the extra snark fuel is what I'm saying. Â
I was all prepared to be sarcastic about this series too but, hey, if Uwe Boll made a movie about your video game, it's gotta be pretty amazing am I right? Â Dungeon Siege's primary and perhaps only contribution to the Diablo clone army is the addition of a pack mule, which uses up a slot you could use for another hireling. It's an interesting dilemma: Do you want an additional fighter for the many extra opportunities it gives you when formulating a strategy for combat? Or do you want more space to carry shit between shop visits? Because who even cares about all that combat and gameplay nonsense, really? Â I try to sound like I'm above this game but then I bought Space Siege. So by all means take everything here with a pinch of stupid. Â
Honestly, I have no idea what to say about this game. It's an XBLA Diablo clone before Torchlight came along and made it completely redundant. It's still a lot cheaper if you don't particularly care either way though. Â Honestly, it's not like I can tell the difference between a Diablo clone made by an Indie team for five bucks or a richly-layered PC Diablo clone port made by a full development team for 15 bucks. You kill things and steal their shit. Sometimes there's secret walls. Help me out here, someone? Â
Guess I should mention Torchlight too. It's probably the best Diablo clone on the market, if you're into that sort of thing. And if you are, you already own it. I'm sort of wasting my time bringing it up, huh? I will remark how combining the pack mule and an extra fighter into one versatile pet was a nice way to eliminate your closest competitors by making them look stupid. Â Â
Jump to other E3 Blogs: 0102 03 Â A pretty crappy alternative, mind, but we all do what we must. I've never liked E3, but I'm aware I'm in the minority. Everyone loves hyping themselves up for games that are still months away, and who am I to stop them? Some guy writing blogs about anything but E3, that's who. Â So how is everyone today? Play any new games? There's a few out, though not many good ones if the reception Hunted and First Templar are getting (two surprisingly similar games about pairs of wisecracking adventurers taking down evil in a heavily action-based, only slightly RPG-based manner.) Still, inFamous 2 is out momentarily and I can be pretty psyched about that at least. Game of Thrones is picking up too, though it ends in a fortnight with cliffhangers that won't be resolved for years. Overall, as Summer entertainment goes, there's been a surprisingly decent amount of it so far. Â For the rest of this blog, I'm going to be snippy about a series of features from a fairly mediocre JRPG I just beat (Tales of Innocence, since I'll be mentioning it a few times), and talk about how happy I'd be to never see them again:Â
Airships - Airships are cool, yes, but totally impractical. You need a lot of helium for one thing (and that shit has the unfortunate tendency to float off into space), and quite a considerable degree of technology to create something that can stay aloft and yet produce a lot of power for propulsion. What's worse is how often games will simply allow just anyone to pilot the damn things. In Tales of Innocence's case, it's Ricardo the Sniper Merc a.k.a. Solid Snake with a goatee. He's particularly good at shooting people and has limited skill with anything else. But, no, we'll just throw him the keys and let him get on with it. I mean who cares, right? We have places to fly to.
Guild "Missions" - By "missions" they mean "random repetitive tasks." ToI has these in spades but they're not so integral to the plot to be as annoying as they could be. However, there are games (like the Tales crossover series Radiant Mythology in fact) that base their entirety on this pointless exercise. Of course, a large amount of the game's inventory, monsters and hidden scenes are hiding in these randomized pits either way, so that's 100% out of reach for those who care until you've spent hours doing pointless work that does nothing for the story or one's ability to enjoy life.
Dungeons Without Maps - I guess we're supposed to just follow the left hand wall, then? Fine, okay. Just so we're clear here, I'm not talking about FFXIII type dungeons - I'm talking about dungeons with path deviation. Forks and crossroads and the like. As in, the type that could really use some sort of map system. Preferably. If it's cool.
Random Encounters - Couple this with the last one and it's tons of fun. Of course, ToI doesn't have random encounters, because you can see the enemies on the map just as they spawn directly in front of you and sprint at you at the speed of thought. So the battles are clearly optional in that particular game's case. Roll my eyes.
Make the Hero Someone Not Awesome - Tales isn't actually too bad at this. At least compared with a certain other long-running JRPG series. Stahn, Reid, Cless and Lloyd were all well-meaning (but kind of dumb) heroes who could legitimately kick some ass. Ruca/Luca (ToI) and Emil (Symphonia 2) are the biggest wusses this side of a Kingdom Hearts game. Do not go to that place, Namco Bandai. You do yourselves a mischief.
Recurring Bosses - Man, I hate these. But I guess that's the point? Oops. Let's skip over this one. Just assume there's a reason they've grown vastly stronger each time you meet them.
Undefeatable Bosses - Okay, I guess I prefer the recurring ones to these guys. Unless they're a recurring undefeatable boss. Holy shit, I hate you Beatrix. Best way to design a boss fight like this? Have the boss kill you IMMEDIATELY. You want to build up a "holy shit, this dude is serious" atmosphere with your eventual end-game boss? Just have them instantly win. Bam, down, one move - we're all done for. Don't string it out with the "cat and mouse" bit with weak attacks and allow us to use all our items first.
To recap: I'll be doing one of these blogs, about any old thing I can think of, every day this week. It'll be just like the E3 live feed, where I'll talk about old games and Braid for half an hour instead of E3! Fun times for all.Â
The next ones might be less churlish and sarcastic.Â
Hey all, this is a blog to test out what might be List Experiment #3: Experiment #1 was anagrams and #2 was acrostics, so #3 will be lipograms! For those averse to clicking links, a lipogram is a piece of text that has purposely avoided using a particular letter - usually this letter is "E", the most commonly used letter in the alphabet, though other common letters are "A", "S", "T", "O", "N" and "I". Astonishing, I know. Â I've constructed three sample reviews below, omitting the letter E (game names and the words represented by acronyms/initialisms being the exceptions) with a minimum limit of 50 words: Â 2010 GOTY: Mass Effect 2 " "Gangsta shit", as Ryan put it, is only partly why our last GOTY was just that. It's actually a culmination of many things, from an amazing script and dialog to rampant action situations that all amass (pardon my pun) to a fantastic gaming affair. If you don't own it by now, go fix that goof. " Â Insane Fan Favorite Choice of 2010: Nier "What I couldn't fathom about this slightly crazy JRPG, from sadly shut-down studio Cavia, is how it could construct a world so abnormal though so familiar. It plays around with various customs and buzzwords of its rivals; its standpoint implying that it's not so much mocking as homaging. That girl's constant cussing is a tad off-putting though." Â WILD CARD, BITCHES! YEEEEHAW!: Japan World Cup 3 "It's, uh, it's a kind of a racing thing? But not just with our usual four-hoof pals. I think I saw an afro-sporting guy, and that lady was singing in a moving caravan? Plus two guys in a panto suit, a bunch of.. you know what? I concur with that post's author: Giant Bomb has to Quick Look that chaotic monstrosity." Â Â They're awkward but fun! Like spinning around too much! Try it yourselves! Or don't! It's a free country! We're all shouting and having fun over here.
Oh hey, I did decide to write up the second part of this look at Japan's favorite VGM, as voted for by a huge bunch of dudes who like Falcom and SaGa games for whatever reasons that are between them and their god. The first part is over here somewhere if you're coming into this raw. Which you well might, since I forgot to publish the last one. Doy, oops. Anyway, go read that for the background and the top-rated games first. Before this blog. The one you're still reading. Shoo! Â
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #1 ("The Sun Rises") Other Placings: #95, #303, #383.
Okami's an interesting animal. Not the whole wolf sun goddess literal animal bit, necessarily, but as a very Japanese take on the whole "exploring our mythology" type of setting popularized by character action games in the West like God of War or Dante's Inferno (definitely to a lesser extent with Dante's Inferno). Taking its cues from Zelda, of all places, the game itself was a fun if lightweight adventure with a neat "drawing things" gimmick. Japanese gamers probably (like I'm some great judge of character) dig the traditional instrumental stylings of Okami's soundtrack, hence the coveted #1 spot.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #33 ("Mighty Obstacle") Other Placings: #219, #303, #389.
More Ys. The sixth game, Ark of Napishtim, is somewhat responsible for Ys's minor resurgence in Western markets with its moderately well-received PS2 release. It's recently had new life breathed into it with an enhanced PSP port in both regions. The Falcom fan presence strikes again, but it's easily as fun as its higher-rated younger brother.
Box Art NA (PSP)# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #36 ("Valestein Castle") Other Placings: #61, #617, #628.
Talking of Ys games... Oath of Felghana, otherwise known as the SNES Ys III (the first game to be released in English, even) is another recent PSP rerelease in this franchise. Honestly, I feel the many ports of obscure games is the PSP's major strength these days. It'll be interesting to see if the NGP follows the same track - with its major hardware, it should be able to easily emulate anything in the PS2's back library.Â
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #45 ("Light Feud") Other Placings: #107, #116, #680.
Falcom's other big franchise, the Legend of Heroes is yet another series that has been seeing a lot of PSP ports of late. LoH: Sora no Kiseki is actually a trilogy of three parts, of which only the first is available here as "Trails in the Sky" and includes the four tracks above. The soundtracks of the other two games in the trilogy also received a lot of votes. So something to look forward to if you liked the first?
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #55 ("Hometown Domina") Other Placings: #174, #255, #680.
The Seiken Dentetsu "Mana" series, as pretty much any major JRPG fan will tell you, kind of bottomed out when it hit the PS1 with Legend of Mana. Legend has its fans, unlike the many weird messes that came after, but the glory days of 2 (Secret of Mana) and 3 seemed to be over. The music's great regardless though, with compositions from female maestro Yoko Shimomura (also responsible for the music of Street Fighter II and Super Mario RPG, among others). If you thought Legend of Mana would be better with the Guile Theme (as everything inevitably is), you aren't far off.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #56 ("Condemnation Wings") Other Placings: #218, #441, #570.
BlazBlue takes a leaf out of the book of brash fighters like KOF or Guilty Gear with its typically loud and rock-heavy soundtrack. Both Continuum Shift and its predecessor Calamity Trigger received plenty of votes from those keeping the fighter game flame alive.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #57 ("Now, Full of Power, I'm Your Partner!" ...yeah) Other Placings: #329, #400, #680.
Mystic Ark is one of the many lost SNES JRPG classics that got never got localized for English audiences in its time. Thanks to emulators and the work of wonderful fan translators like Gideon Zhi of Aeon Genesis, more and more of these are being rediscovered by the less kanji- and kana-proficient fans of the genre. I don't really know anything about the composer, Akihiko Mori, other than that he sadly passed away a few years after this game was completed.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #59 ("Reach Out To The Truth") Other Placings: #144, #466, #617.
The engrishy rap soundtrack of GB favorite Persona 4 should be deeply ingrained in the minds of everyone who saw the entire Endurance Run. "Reach Out To The Truth", the normal combat theme, received the most votes and placed just outside the top 50 at #59, though also represented is the chill school background music "Your Affection" at #144, Ameno-sagiri's sublime "The Almighty" boss music at #466 and the normal boss theme "I'll Face Myself" squeaking in at #617. Â Â
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #63 ("Melodies of Life") Other Placings: #131, #321, #570.
Remember when I said that FF5 was like FF9 in that it was just kind of there, and not particularly good or bad or memorable in any way? Turns out FF9 is the next best rated Final Fantasy game. Weird, huh? Like any good FF game, the best rated songs are the final boss, the melodramatic vocalized signature song and the in-game opera song - in this case, the song that's being sung during the performance of the sky pirate actors at the start of the game.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing:Â #71 ("Battle #2" ...that's snappy, I like it.) Other Placings: #360, #492, #609.
I never did play Lufia 2, though I hear it's pretty good. The music isn't particularly noteworthy, despite the four tracks that made their way onto this list, so maybe it's being influenced by people's happy memories of the game itself? Man, perhaps I should play it then.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #72 ("Grey Lips") Other Placings: #400, #547, #561.
No exposure at all to this game. I just know it's one of quite a few Arcade shmups being ported to the 360 every few months, usually from genre giants Cave or Touhou or G.rev (as is this the case with Wartech). The four tracks all come from the original Arcade game or the 360 port, subtitled "Rev. X". Every shmup soundtrack is characteristically fast and crazy and fun, which explains why there's so many on this list.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #84 ("Ocarina of Time Medley") Other Placings: #137, #400, #617.
Now this feels like a cheat. While Brawl does have an amazing choral orchestra signature tune, with an even-crazier Final Destination remix (which got a relatively low #617 placing), the top three are all from other game series that received fancy remixes. #84 is, of course, the Legend of Zelda medley. #137 is the enhanced "Stickerbrush Symphony", a hauntingly beautiful tune from a game about monkeys wearing hats rescuing an ape wearing a tie. #400 is the enhanced Revenge of Meta Knight theme. Melee's equally impressive range of remixes also made this list twice, with another Kirby theme (Fountain of Dreams) and the EarthBound stage music.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #86 ("Love Song - Only Lonely Boy") Other Placings: #110, #186, #274.
Now this was a surprise. I have very limited experience with the DQ series (as I apparently do with many Enix games it seems), but DQ2 was back in the NES days where music was still kind of.. well, primitive. Not that games like Mega Man 2 or DuckTales didn't have great music, but when you have at least six DQ games from the 16-bit era or later to choose from, it's odd that a Famicom game performs the best. DQ's music pretty much remains constant, as a mix of comedic and adventurous ditties and the always-present Dragon Quest theme. Dum-dah-dah dah dah dah dum-daaaaaaaah!
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #90 ("Last Battle - T260G") Other Placings: #121, #343, #454.
More of this SaGa nonsense. I honestly don't get it, but as VGK pointed out in the comments of the last blog: there are people who play these games just to hear the music of Kenji Ito. I guess that's a good reason to play a video game? Frontier is scenario-based, so the T260G in that track title refers to a robotic character whose final boss fight has that music. In case you thought I copy/pasted the name of the audio codec or something.
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #95 ("To Zanarkand") Other Placings: #150, #360, #547.
The colossal Final Fantasy series has its third best soundtrack in the mostly well-received Final Fantasy X. It certainly has its mix of decent tracks, including the Seymour boss music and the actually-quite-good "To Zanarkand" signature theme. If anyone's wondering how the other Final Fantasies did (especially 6 and 7, I'm guessing), here's a rundown: FF6 (3 tracks, highest at #53), FF4 (3 tracks, highest at #131), FF8 (3 tracks, highest at #158), FF3 (3 tracks, highest at #231), FF2 (2 tracks, highest at #170), FF13 (2 tracks, highest at #250) and FF7 (2 tracks, highest at #400). FFT and FF12 also have a single track each. It's criminal, I know.Â
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #124 ("Frog's Theme") Other Placings: #180, #343, #389.
Arguably the greatest JRPG ever made, Squaresoft's time-travel adventure does quite admirably thanks to the efforts of Square music pros Yasunori Mitsuda and Nobuo Uematsu. Man, do I love Glenn/Frog's Theme though. One of the best and most memorable video game leitmotifs ever put to keyboard.  Â
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #147 ("Battle! Champion") Other Placings: #372, #372, #617.
A lot of Pokemon music made this list, which should come as no surprise to anyone. While three of the tracks here came from the second generation (the precious metals), there's one that's actually from HeartGold/SoulSilver, which are technically fourth generation remakes of the second generation duo. I don't know, don't ask me to figure this stuff out. My interest in Pokemon has long since dissipated into the winds of time.
Dreamcast box art# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #211 ("Chapter 01 - Ideal") Other Placings: #377, #531, #531. Â A prolific shmup quite a few people have played at this point, due to it bouncing around the arcades to Dreamcast to GameCube to XBLA. While the highly symbolic polarity-shifter has some damn fine shmup music, I couldn't honestly tell you when played alongside all the other shmup music on this list which came from where. I guess there's more orchestral work in this one? Wait, why am I the one reviewing music tracks again? Â
# of Instances on List: 4 Highest Placing: #329 ("M. Bison's Theme") Other Placings: #343, #389, #649.
All four of Street Fighter IV's entries on this list are remixes of the stage music from the original games. I think that may be the point though. Oddly enough, Guile's theme isn't one of them. So that's that meme disproven. What is here is the music from M. Bison's, Sakura's, Zangief's and Cammy's respective stages. Â Â Â Okay, done. But wait, am I really? Am I REALLY? No, because I have a few surprises. While perusing this list, I found several Western games that seemed an ill fit with all the very Japaneses shmups and fighters and JRPGS. Songs that, perhaps, would be right near the top if one were to front this poll to Western gamers and Giant Bomb users in particular. I've compiled a list below of tunes that would've done better in an Occidental world, including where they placed on this 700. Â
Halo 3 - Finish the Fight - #6 --- Well. I guess there are Halo fanboys everywhere. Oddly, though, no other Halo music made the list. Halo 3's theme must be really powerful, huh.
Donkey Kong Country 2 - Stickerbrush Symphony - #17 --- Yep, this appeared twice, both in its original form here and its enhanced Smash Bros Brawl version.
Portal - Still Alive - #59 --- Everyone's favorite upbeat GLaDOS gloating kiss-off did pretty well on the list. I'm actually sort of glad it placed where it did: Not too high, because it's meme-tastic, but also not too low because it demonstrates that Portal's sense of humor is more or less global.
Sid Meier's Civilization IV - Baba Yetu - #81 --- Popularly known as that one video game track that won a Grammy, it makes sense it'd make this list somewhere, right?
Ultima Online - Stones - #180 --- Uhh.. I guess Japanese people love ugly-ass MMOs from a decade ago? That seems like a kind of racist thing to say.
Diddy Kong Racing - Greenwood Village - #219 --- I guess they really love those monkeys. DK is pretty huge in Japan, to be fair.
Alan Wake - War - #680 --- Don't ask me why they dug this Nickelback-esque rock song. I can't help you.
 And so there's no more questions, the Moon Stage theme from DuckTales was #274 and the Space Harrier theme was #680. Which is way too low. Okay, now I'm done.
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Now, I'm no expert on video game music. I can't tell a crescendo from an allegretto, except that they were both characters in Eternal Sonata. But I do like listening to it and that's exactly what I did with this recently compiled top 700 list as voted for by the many users of Nico Nico Douga and 2ch, as part of an apparently yearly feature on Japan's favorite VGM. Now, I'll save you (and myself) from posting the entire list of all the songs and games they came from - those interested can find the YouTube playlist here courtesy of a very dedicated user named Gestriden, if you have 28 hours spare to listen to the whole thing. This is just a quick appraisal of the games that featured on the list of 700 most frequently.
# of Instances on List: 8 Highest Placing: #30 ("Chasing Shirley") Other Placings: #158, #296, #414, #441, =#466, #508, #590.
Tales of Legendia isn't perhaps the most prolific of Namco's long-spanning Tales series (now catching up to Final Fantasy in sheer numbers), but it apparently has the best music by quite a margin. While a few other Tales games are represented, they only manage to put in one or two tracks each. I can't say for certain what makes Legendia's soundtrack stand out, since no-one bothered to release it in Europe, but it clearly has a lot of fans. Â
# of Instances on List: 7 Highest Placing: #2 ("Ancient Disputation (Final Boss Theme)") Other Placings: #3, #48, #130, #360, =#466, =#570.
Two chief reasons push Falcom's PSP Action RPG to its near-ubiquitous presence on this list: A suspected heavy influence on the voting from Falcom fans, and a relatively recent release. That isn't to say the music isn't great fun too: Full of frantic tunes that mirror the real-time chaos of the standard gameplay, and boss fights in particular. The PSP has become something of a sanctuary for a great number of decent and bizarre JRPGs of late, which is why that console is represented here more than perhaps it should be. Â
# of Instances on List: 7 Highest Placing: #37 ("Final Decisive Battle") Other Placings: #75, #227, #400, =#466, =#570, =#637.
Now this is surprising. For those unaware of the SaGa franchise, it's essentially a bizarro version of the Final Fantasy series led by one Akitoshi Kawazu (who was actually in charge of FF2, perhaps best remembered for its self-flagellating level-up system and not much else.) He was given the SaGa series soon after in a manner like, as Pitchfork so eloquently puts it, "that Simpsons gag where Marge bakes a separate birthday cake for Homer to ruin." As such, the SaGa games have been met with mixed success in their native land, and with something approaching total confusion over here. Despite this, it seems to do well with music fans, as all the major SaGa games got at least two tracks on this list somewhere. As someone who bought Unlimited SaGa and SaGa Frontier 2, I'd advise those curious to simply track down the music instead and give the games themselves a wide berth...
# of Instances on List: 6 Highest Placing:#8 ("Mechanical Rhythm") Other Placings: #44, #274, #283, #454, #521. Â A lot of atmospheric tracks from this recently released Wii epic. Though it has yet to see a Western release, I'm told one is forthcoming. It definitely looks like a major time-sink, as it appears to be a mix of FFXII and Monster Hunter with the same philosophies of strategic real-time combat and exploration of vast areas. It may well be one of the Wii's swansongs, as that fancy new Super Wii quickly approaches our collective gaming radars. Â
# of Instances on List: 6 Highest Placing: #91 ("Feldschlacht IV") Other Placings: #219, #250, #311, #508, #637.
I wasn't kidding about SaGa. My few memories of SaGa Frontier 2 included jarring time skips every few dungeons and a plot I couldn't make heads or tails of. It might well be the sort of game that clicks for the right sort of person, but leaves everyone else slightly bewildered and agitated. It was the first time I realized Squaresoft games weren't always masterpieces; a notion strongly hammered home several times since then. Â
# of Instances on List: 6 Highest Placing:Â #102 ("The End of the Raging Waves") Other Placings: #103, #156, #193, #247, #360.
The old-school (or should that be "retro"?) dungeon crawler series Etrian Odyssey is one of those things that genuinely surprises me with its popularity. That the video game industry is now successfully exploiting nostalgia for the days of the cruel and arbitrary D&D-based RPGs of old is way more intriguing than the re-emergence of the fighters and story-driven adventure games. I get the impression that the reason Etrian Odyssey 3's functional ambient tunes score so highly is because people spend a lot of time listening to them as they fall over and over to the many unaccountable deathtraps the game throws at them. Or maybe I'm just being cynical.
# of Instances on List: 6 Highest Placing: #106 ("The New Galactic Empire") Other Placings: #186, #283, #492, #590, #637.
I don't think it's a shock to imagine Mario's newest adventure as being one of the most highly played video games by Japanese gamers in 2010. But the soundtrack still easily stands on its own, as the bombastic orchestral music just screams adventure on a massive scale. It's something that hasn't wavered since the first game, I was glad to see.
# of Instances on List: 5 Highest Placing: #41 ("Song of the Ancients") Other Placings: #211, #466, #547, #649.
GB sort-of-favorite and 2010 newcomer Nier makes a promising appearance with five of its tracks on this list, though one of them is actually an in-game sung version of another (Devola's version of the Song of the Ancients, if you were wondering). With everyone from S-Rank fanatic vidiot, image maestro buzz_clik and some guy making blogs about Nier, it's a game that at least deserves a mention for its insane design choices, if not perhaps a place in the pantheon of greats. Â
# of Instances on List: 5 Highest Placing:Â #54 ("The Departure") Other Placings: #244, #303, #570, #666.
I love Terranigma. Hell, I love all of Quintet's confusingly-not-a-quintet Soul Blazer series. While the first was a dungeon crawler with a neat gimmick - and the second a lightweight but well-told action RPG - Terranigma was a grown-up game full of weird symbolism and mindbending puzzles. The music is as good as the SNES often got, with plenty of highs and lows as the plot went to all sorts of bizarre places.
# of Instances on List: 5 Highest Placing:Â #67 ("Prophecy (Flight #2)") Other Placings: #86, #139, #164, #205.
Though if we're talking true SNES classics, Secret of Mana is right up there with FF6 and Chrono Trigger. The music was the standout, with the ominously atmospheric music towards the end of the game being the highlight. Who can forget the creepy lullaby music of Thanatos or the wind instrument-heavy Mana Beast music, both while flying on Flammie and during the kind-of-tragic final boss fight? I think I'll go play it again.. Â
# of Instances on List: 5 Highest Placing: #81("Mt. Fuji Path"... maybe) Other Placings: #454, #466, #570, #680.
So I wasn't really able to decipher the track names of this one, since they were all in kanji and I'm no Pepsiman. But this picturesque Wii RPG brawler scored highly with the same kind of traditional song stylings as Okami (though I haven't mentioned Okami here, it did acquire the #1 spot on the list.) From what I'm hearing, it has some awesome demonic boss fight music too.
# of Instances on List: 5 Highest Placing: #95 ("Battle With Exdeath") Other Placings: #98, #167, #321, #649.
Of all the Final Fantasies I expected to get the highest number of tracks on this list, FF5 was perhaps last on that short list. Nothing against the game: it was a decent enough merging of the "two worlds outsider" plot and job system of FF3 with some of the story-telling sophistication of FF4, but overall it was just kind of "there", like FF9. I just don't recall it doing much for me musically, with the exception of GIlgamesh's epic [editor's note: need a better word than "epic" here] theme "Fight on the Big Bridge". Â
# of Instances on List: 5 Highest Placing: #231 ("Green Greens") Other Placings: #283, #414, #570, #628.
Weren't expecting that, were you? Everyone loves Kirby. Whether it's due to the recent bells-and-whistles enhanced DS port, or the songs receiving orchestral remixes for the more recent Smash Bros games (there are actually Kirby tracks from those games on this list too), Japanese gamers seem to be fondly recalling the jaunty tunes of everyone's cute pink eldritch space horror. My favorite's always been King Dedede's theme, as heard in the Grand Gourmet Race mini-game of Super Star.
I think that's more than enough reminiscing for now. Remember, you can find the YouTube playlist for this massive musical showdown at the top of this blog post. Plus, I just wrote about a whole bunch more on a new blog if you wanted more words to read. They just won't stop pouring out of me, and I can only apologize so many times.
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Well. Never let it be said that I'm anything but predictable. Yet another Old vs New, yet another obvious comparison. But then the reason I do these is to see how far game design has gone in the passage of a few decades - or just seven years in this week's case. And what a case this is!(?) On the Old side, we have the not-really-that-old-at-all 2003 Ubisoft classic Beyond Good & Evil, recently rereleased in high definition for XBLA (go get it!). On the New, we have last year's perhaps overlooked, perhaps overrated Andy Serkis-fronted Ninja Theory/ Namco Bandai joint Enslaved: Odyssey to the West. Once again, this article came about entirely from completing the latter and reminiscing the former after the aforementioned HD version's Quick Look.
Setting
While there are some major differences into the why as far as the look of both worlds go (Enslaved's is an overgrown post-apocalyptic mess, BGE's is a besieged alien planet), their actual appearance is still very similar. There's plenty of bright colors and interesting wildlife, neatly contrasted with the dire straits both worlds are in from the perspective of the humans (or human animals). The buildings in the cities are half-gutted from calamity, whereas Jade's lighthouse and Trip's village have that kind of lived-in feel of a group of survivors and outcasts, with drawings on the walls and fixtures hastily repaired with whatever was at hand.
Characters
Each game has a trio of protagonists, with your playable character being assisted (and assisting in turn) at various points by the other two. Despite the actual playable character, both sets are as follows:
The Guy - A sort of loutish but good-natured heavy that can and will take any punishment to protect the others. While Monkey isn't quite the goody-goody hero, having been basically coerced into helping with a slave headband, he develops into something more noble as his arc progresses. Double H is far more gallant from the get-go, though one wonders if he hasn't hit his head once too often.Â
The Girl - The heroine is a very resourceful tech expert who is the main driving force of the central story's mission. Trip stumbles into "damsel in distress" territory when events become too much for her, but is as generally fearless and determined as her male compatriots when riled up enough. Jade's just a complete badass in petite stick-wielding form, unwilling to submit to the invading DomZ forces.Â
The Pig - A likeable but kind of gross porcine joker, with an array of handy gadgets, who is as loyal a friend as they come. Both Pey'j and Pigsy are present for less than half of their respective games' running time, yet both definitely make an impression while they're around. I daresay they're the best thing in either.
Combat
In both games, combat is performed with a bo staff, beloved of purple-costumed turtles everywhere. Though an unusual weapon in video games (where most protagonists tend to favor guns or swords), it makes sense given the context: Jade is a largely pacifistic martial artist, with a staff being an ideal defensive weapon. Monkey's staff is, of course, based on his mythical namesake's magical Ruyi Jingu Bang staff, complete with its ability to grow and shrink when needed. As such, the combat flows in a very martial arts-esque manner, with characters swinging their staffs in arcs and coupling them with their natural acrobat athleticism for dodges and feints. It's a combat style that lends itself well to dealing with crowds, which is ideal for these sorts of character action games where you're often beset on all sides.
Vehicles
In certain sequences, both games will allow you to ride a vehicle to cover larger distances, or in an occasional genre-shifting timed race to break up the platforming. In Monkey's case, he has his "cloud" - yet another contrivance based on the legend the game draws from. Jade has her small hovercraft, which can be frequently upgraded to expand the territory it can travel, Metroid-style. Oddly, both work best over water, though can also be used on land just as capably.
Other Gameplay Elements
Use of Stealth - Often desirable, since open combat isn't always as survivable as you might want. Usually, by sneaking to a vantage point, you can remove all the dangerous enemies without them ever knowing you were there. Of course, you can simply muscle your way through too, if you don't mind taking a few hits. Neither game is so difficult that a Gordian knot solution cannot be employed if taking the stealth route is too much of a hassle (unlike, say, with the Riddick games).
Companion Puzzles - A feature that persists from the halcyon days of Lost Vikings, where you need your companions to progress further, is the companion puzzle: Where you need to figure out how to get to point B and also how to get your friend to point B. This feature works best when A) Your companion can take care of themselves, or at least hide and B) They can help you out as well - otherwise it just feels like a dreaded Escort Mission. Fortunately, both rules apply to both of these games.
Spherical Collectibles - Okay, I'm reaching here. All character action platformers have spherical collectibles. I loooove them orbs.
The Ending
Obviously I won't go into detail here to avoid spoilers, but the conclusion to both games are notable for their abruptness. I hesitate to even include this paragraph in case people get offended, but it's a narrative feature most games don't use (they either have obvious cliffhanger sequel hooks or, well, an actual ending) so it's notable that these two games both take the "Well, that's it, that's all we got. Enjoy the credits!" route. Apologies if I just ruined everything forever.
Honestly guys, next week I'll bust out something that isn't an Old vs New. I can do other things!
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This is, perhaps, the dumbest idea for a compare and contrast I've ever thought up. Dumber even than Vinny's "Bufu vs. A Spell The Boss Isn't Immune To." I guess I should explain why I'm comparing these two games in particular: Simply put, it's the "easiest" JRPG ever created vs. the "hardest" (based on popular opinion. Of course, you might have your own ideas which are the easiest and hardest JRPGs - feel free to correct away in the comments.) Blame this on me playing nothing else but Demon's Souls this week and being creatively bankrupt. This might still be fun though, so let's jump in why not.
Basic Premise
In both cases, you play a random dude with no backstory who has trotted his way into a near-apocalyptic land of bad shit going down, with only the hints of an enigmatic weirdo telling you where to go. In a true "baptism of fire" or "why? why are you doing this?" moment, you're thrown into a battle with a gigantic monster to prove your worth. Where Demon's Souls diverges is that this monster will almost certainly kill you - this is where the story really begins. In Mystic Quest you trounce it in an extended tutorial, setting the tone for the rest of the game. When you meet it again as a regular monster, it's like level 30. Maybe the first one was just sick?
Characters
Well, first and foremost is your "Chosen One" protagonist, apparently plucked out of the narrative ether to take out the big bad and restore the land's former glory. Based on entirely no credentials or special abilities whatsoever. [Pointless Side-Note: My theory is that the "chosen ones" in these games are the only ones that save points react to, because that has to be a considerable advantage for any hero to have. To everyone else, those things are just giant floating glowy balls that do absolutely nothing but sit there and look nice.]
In Demon's Souls, this character is depicted as a wanderer who ventured into the land of Boletaria (more like Balls-up-etaria, am I right? No? Okay, fine) for gold and glory. After being killed by a giant whatsit with a stick, he (or her; the Vanguard is an equal opportunity murderer) is thrown into the Nexus - a hub world full of dead and not-so-dead refugees who are hiding out from the monsters in the world above. It's never clear if the Nexus is an actual place or just some pan-dimensional purgatory for wizards to sit around in and talk about how badly everything's fucked up in the realm above.
As far as the enigmatic weirdos in Demon's Souls goes, you have several to choose from: A blind chick with a candlestick who allows you to draw power to level-up by touching her innate demon (which is kind of kinky if you think about it); a near-mummified magical Shaolin monk babby thing called the Monumental (a monumental what, though); a bunch of clowns you rescue from the world above who give you new spells and abilities; a blacksmith who is a complete asshole and the single sane dude who usefully stores your stuff for you. You can also rescue a dude with neat-looking armor from a cage who goes back to your home base and kills every useful NPC for you. I'm sure glad I saved him.
Mystic Quest's cavalcade of useless idiots who follow you around include: A guy on a cloud who points out where to go next and flies off (this is a game for babies don't forget); a nice girl; an ice girl; a retard in heavy-looking red armor who keeps jumping off cliffs and injuring himself and a thief with his own awesome leitmotif who takes the best weapon in the game from the first dungeon and runs off with it. I don't like that guy.
Realms of Wonders (Wonders, Lisa? Or BLUNDERS?)
Oddly enough, there's a lot of similarities to make here. Weird, huh? Let's go through some of them:
Earth Realm (no, not that one) - Demon's Souls' first realm is a quaint castle full of solid brick floors and walls that has been overrun by dragons, possessed soldiers and these annoying fat guys wearing pimp hats. It's where you're dumped unceremoniously by the game after dying the first time, and is not-so-coincidentally where most people give up. Picturesque though, I'll give it that. Mystic Quest's first world isn't quite so picturesque, having a giant dungeon full of bones and forests full of zombie minotaurs (whuh?), but it's certainly in the same spirit of "hey, this world's kind of messed up if you hadn't noticed."
Wind Realm - Demon's Souls has an actually quite beautiful set of ruins on a cliffside which is full of these tumbling skeletons and giant manta rays that try to impale you like you were the Crocodile Hunter (too soon?). You know, in case you thought your scenic view needed more somersaulting skeletons with katanas and manta spears in the periphery. Mystic Quest's Windaria is similar, with a nice little settlement overlooking a cliff that leads to a giant tower with Pazuzu inside. If you were wondering what Pazuzu looked like when he wasn't possessing Regan, he looks like a giant bird wearing jewels and a crown. Yeah, that movie sure got a lot less scary now, didn't it?
Water Realm - Oddly enough for the "hardest game ever", Demon's Souls doesn't even have a water dungeon. You'd think that was a given. What it does have, though, is the despised (by me) Swamp of Defilement: a venomous cesspool full of Skeksis-looking monsters and aborted babies reanimated as sludge monsters that pull you underneath the murky waters. Yeah, delightful place. Mystic Quest's water realm is iced over, because ice is scary. You eventually have to defeat the boss in his mystical ice pyramid full of mirrors. That's some full on Conan the Destroyer shit right there.
Fire Realm - Demon's Souls has a raging inferno of a volcano which is undergoing extensive mining work. It's a neat stage because the only way to go is straight down: Which means there's shortcuts aplenty for people who don't mind gravity so much. Mystic Quest's Fire Realm is a place of volcanoes and dragons too, because apparently that wasn't too obvious.
Tower Realm - Okay, so "Tower" isn't an element, but both the central area of Mystic Quest's world and the third realm of Demon's Souls has an eerie tower that stretches up into the sky. At the top of both is a demonic character with a big hat. Best thing about towers is that you can easily fall off them. Wait, did I say "best"? Because I meant "fucking annoying." My bad.
Bosses
The Bosses are by far the best part of Demon's Souls: As well as the colossal beasties you have to defeat with speed and use of cover, you also have the speedy beasties you have to defeat with skill and smarts. There's also a few puzzle bosses in the form of: the saintly Maiden Astraea, an almost pacifistic opponent that's still torture to get close enough to; The Fool's Idol, a four-armed woman that teleports around the room and creates clones of herself (you know, like every other trickster boss); a dragon god that has to be brought down with ballistae, requiring you to take constant cover from its fire as you activate them and a giant manta ray king that only shows up if you shoot down enough of its subordinates with an awesome wave-shooting sword. There's even a boss that will summon another player in to grief you, which I'd totally be amazed by if something hadn't hampered my PS3's ability to go online. Gee, I wonder what that's about.
If Mystic Quest has any singular "best part" to speak of, it's certainly not the bosses. Instead of the constantly inventive and terrifying (both in concept and in battle) bosses of Demon's Souls, you have instead:
A skeletal T-Rex, which would be scary if it wasn't called "Flamerus Rex". Jeeeez, are you serious Mystic Quest? You must be flamering us.
An Ice Golem, who actually melts while you're fighting it. There's nothing quite like hammering a giant popsicle with fire spells for a tense boss battle.
Dualhead Hydra, who has two heads. Most hydras have like eight though. This one just has a dual head. Oh wait, now I finally understand the name! Doy!
Pazuzu, the aforementioned magical jewelry bird wearing a crown. He actually evades you by being that kid in the elevator that presses all the buttons so it won't stop on floors. So that's intimidating.
The Dark King, a dark king who does the usual Final Fantasy trick of having four forms, each progressively more dangerous. In my experience, it's best to save all your strongest abilities and forms until last, when you have barely any health left. First he has six arms, then he's a spider, then he's.. a spider but with tentacles instead. And then he dies after hitting him with cure spells. Final bosses are difficult for designers to come up with, you know.
Besides covering something helpful like how the games play, which I won't be doing because I wouldn't want people accusing this blog post as insightful or practical, I'm done comparing these games. They've both got their weird charms and I love both of them dearly despite their faults, though I'm hesitant to recommend either: Mystic Quest because you'd think I was a dimwit and Demon's Souls because you'd think I was trying to give you a heart attack from all the stressful insanity. But go ahead and try them out anyway; maybe you'll enjoy them as much as I did. Big maybe.
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